#JustMe

Raven Ambrose
Jul 25
49 min read

Updated: 1 day ago

Who even am I?

When I arrived on this Earth, I was just a tiny bundle of potential, full of promise and possibilities. As soon as I took my first breath, I became a daughter, stepping into a role that would shape my early years and have a big impact on who I'd become. As I made my way through childhood, I quickly realized that being a daughter was just one part of who I was; I started taking on different roles that added to the complex mix of who I am, each part carefully woven into my life.

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Anxiety Invoking

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As I got older, I realized I was juggling way too many roles to keep track of. Each one was a different part of my life, and while they were all unique, they were also connected in ways I only started to get as time passed. I took on lots of roles—friend, student, teammate, and eventually, professional. Every role had its own responsibilities, expectations, and challenges, and I had to deal with them every day. This often meant I had to quickly switch gears and change my mindset to handle whatever came my way.

## The Role of a Friend

As a friend, I am expected to be there no matter what, offering real support and being a genuine companion. It means being around when others need me, ready to lend a shoulder to cry on or just listen, and celebrating their wins like they are my own. This role isn't just about being present; it involves really listening, being empathetic, and having open, honest chats. I got better at this over time through many talks, shared moments, and times when we were both vulnerable. I learned that true friendship isn't just about the laughs and good times but also about tackling life's ups and downs together. This journey is about understanding each other's challenges, being there for comfort during tough times, and celebrating all the milestones, big or small, that shows how much we've grown.

## The Journey of a Student

As a student, the game totally changed. Suddenly, I had to soak up tons of info, get the hang of new ideas, and keep up with the tough standards set by both my teachers and myself. It took a lot of discipline and dedication, often leading to late nights with textbooks, assignments, or exam prep. The push to do well taught me crucial lessons about managing my time, prioritizing what’s important, and setting realistic goals. I figured out how to break big projects into smaller, doable tasks, which became super handy in both school and work. Plus, working with classmates on group projects showed me how valuable different perspectives are and how awesome teamwork can be. These skills really set me up for handling multiple responsibilities later on in my career.

## Embracing Teamwork

Becoming a teammate definitely made things more interesting in my life. Being part of a team meant working with others, appreciating different viewpoints, and aiming for a shared goal, whether it was on the field, in a school project, or during after-school activities. I realized how powerful teamwork is and how important it is to communicate openly and clearly. This role pushed me to step out of my comfort zone, trust others, and bring my unique strengths to the group. I found out that working together often leads to bigger successes than going solo, and the connections made through teamwork often go beyond just the task, leading to lasting friendships and a real sense of belonging.

## Navigating Professional Life

When I stepped into the working world, everything felt way more intense. The responsibilities were big, and I often had to juggle my personal goals with what my boss and coworkers expected. I had to get used to the fast pace, figure out the office vibe, and understand the ins and outs of professional relationships. Each new job I took on pushed me to expand my skills and embrace the idea of always learning. I quickly saw that my career was constantly changing, and staying on top of things meant always looking for new knowledge and adapting to fresh challenges. Every new role brought chances to grow, pushing me to stretch my abilities and meet the demands around me.

## The Weight of Responsibilities

I figured out how important it is to be adaptable and resilient while juggling all these responsibilities. Sometimes it felt like I was being pulled in every direction, but I still managed to keep everything going. There were times when handling all these different roles felt like too much, but I found strength in my ability to switch things up and adjust. The experiences I picked up along the way—from the happy moments that made me laugh to the tough times that really tested me—were all key in shaping who I am and giving me a better understanding of the world.

## Reflection and Growth

Looking back on this journey, I realize that every role I took on helped me understand myself and my place in the world better. Juggling these different roles taught me so much about empathy, responsibility, and how crucial it is to keep things balanced in life. I learned to see the beauty in diversity—not just in the roles I played, but also in the relationships I built. Every experience, whether it was good or bad, added layers to who I am and gave me a wider view of life, making my interactions with others richer and changing how I tackle challenges.

## Embracing Future Opportunities

As I keep growing and changing, I'm taking these lessons with me, ready to dive into whatever new challenges and opportunities come my way. I've realized that every role I take on isn't just a job—it's a chance for me to grow and learn. The different hats I wear aren't just about getting things done; they're a part of my journey, showing off my many sides and reminding me how everything in life is connected. Each new chapter is a chance to learn and change, and I'm excited to see what's next with an open heart and a curious mind. My life is like a tapestry woven with all these different experiences, and I can't wait to see how it all unfolds.

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Finding My True Self

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In this blog, I'm planning to dive into the different roles and experiences that have shaped my life in unique ways, and how they've helped me grow over time. Each story I tell will be a step in my journey of self-discovery, shining a light on my past and the valuable lessons I've learned. By sharing these experiences, I want to not only tell an interesting story of my life but also help understand the complexities of personal growth that many of us deal with.

As I start this reflective journey, I realize that every role I've taken on—whether as a friend, family member, student, or professional—has left a lasting impact on who I am. These stories aren't just memories; they're vivid examples of my ups and downs, moments that have tested my strength and shaped my character. By sharing my thoughts and stories, I hope to untangle the complex web of who I really am, beyond the labels and expectations others and I have set. This journey isn't just about self-discovery; it's also about connecting with others who might feel the same way, who are on their own paths of understanding and identity.

In this space, I imagine a lively community where we can have meaningful conversations about our struggles, successes, and everything in between. I want to create an environment where we can openly share our journeys, think about our identities, and support each other in the quest for deeper self-understanding. This shared exploration can build empathy and solidarity among us, reminding us that we're not alone in our search for clarity, acceptance, and growth. By sharing our vulnerabilities and insights, we can create a safe space that encourages authenticity and openness.

I'm starting this journey of self-discovery and I'd love for you to come along as I peel back the layers of who I am. Let's figure out what makes me tick and maybe inspire you to do the same with your own story. Each post will share my thoughts and also invite you to join the conversation, so we can learn from each other. I think by sharing our stories, we can better understand the human experience, connect our unique paths, and feel more at home in this world. There is a comment section under each blog. Anyone can comment, and I would love to get your honest feedback.

So, let's dive into this adventure together, embracing all the surprises and insights that come with exploring who we are. As we go, we'll not only discover what shapes us but also celebrate the variety of our experiences, weaving a tapestry of shared understanding and growth. Together, we can handle life's ups and downs, learn from one another, and come out stronger in our quest for self-awareness and connection.

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Here is a comprehensive list of all the various roles and identities I find myself embodying on a daily basis. Be prepared, as the sheer volume may be a bit overwhelming (I know it is for me at times, but it reflects the multifaceted nature of my life).

Wife - This role encompasses a myriad of responsibilities and commitments that often feel like a full-time job, requiring dedication, patience, and love around the clock. Balancing my partner's needs with my own can be challenging but also incredibly rewarding.
Mom - We all know that being a mother is a 24/7 job that demands constant attention, nurturing, and support. It involves everything from school runs and homework help to late-night comforting and early-morning wake-ups, all while trying to instill values and life lessons in my children.
Nurse (mommy nurse) - In addition to my professional responsibilities, I often find myself in the role of a nurse at home, tending to the health and well-being of my family members, whether it's administering first aid, managing chronic conditions, or simply providing emotional support during tough times.
Nurse (professional) - I am a hospice nurse, so it's my job to take care of my patients and help support their family.
Daughter - As a daughter, I strive to have a strong bond with my parents, offering them care and companionship as they age.
Daughter-in-law - This role adds another layer of familial connection, where I navigate relationships with my in-laws, fostering harmony and understanding within the extended family dynamic.
Sister - Being a sister to my two younger siblings means being a mentor and a support system, celebrating their achievements and helping them navigate the challenges of life.
Step Daughter - As a stepdaughter, I embrace the complexities of blended family dynamics, fostering connections with my step-parents and adapting to the unique relationships that come with this role.
Step Sister - With three step-sisters and two step-brothers, I navigate a large and diverse family network, where each relationship carries its own set of challenges and joys.
Aunt - As an aunt to five nephews and one niece, I cherish the opportunity to be a fun and supportive presence in their lives, providing guidance and love while also enjoying the playful aspects of our relationships.
Cousin - I have two first cousins, one on each side of the family. One cousin's son affectionately calls me "Aunt," my cousin and I grew up together, while the other cousin has moved away and started a family of his own, adding a layer of distance but also new connections. My children call my local cousin "uncle".
Chauffer - Driving my kids to various activities, appointments, and playdates has become a significant part of my daily routine, often requiring me to juggle multiple schedules and commitments.
Chef - While I enjoy cooking, I often find myself burnt out from the demands of meal planning, grocery shopping, and preparing meals that cater to the diverse tastes and dietary needs of my family.
Maid - Keeping the household clean and organized is a never-ending task that often feels like a thankless job, yet it is essential for creating a comfortable living environment for my family.
Mediator - I often find myself stepping in to resolve conflicts within the family, acting as a neutral party to help facilitate understanding and harmony among different family members.
Friend - Maintaining friendships is crucial for my well-being, providing me with a support network and opportunities for social interaction amidst the chaos of daily life.
Confidant - I serve as a trusted confidant to many, offering a listening ear and a safe space for friends and family to share their innermost thoughts and feelings.
Book Lover - My passion for reading fuels my imagination and provides an escape from reality, allowing me to explore new worlds and ideas through literature.
Music Lover - I have a deep appreciation for music, which plays a significant role in my life, providing both a soundtrack to my daily activities and a source of comfort during challenging times.
Chocolate Lover - I proudly admit to being a sugarholic, with chocolate being my ultimate weakness. Treating myself to sweet indulgences is a small joy that I cherish.
Cat Mom - I am a proud cat mom to two cats. My work office also has a cat.
Dog Mom - Alongside my feline companions, I also care for two dogs, each with their own unique personalities, who bring joy and energy to our household.
Coach - I take on the role of a coach for kids' softball, where I not only teach the fundamentals of the game but also instill teamwork, sportsmanship, and resilience in young athletes.
Writer - Writing is a passion of mine, allowing me to express my thoughts, share my experiences, and connect with others through the written word.
Teacher - As a homeschooling parent to my youngest daughter, I take on the role of a teacher, creating lesson plans and educational activities that cater to her unique learning style.
Pothead - I openly embrace my enjoyment of cannabis, which I find helps me unwind and relax after a long day, contributing to my overall well-being.
Lover of the Great Outdoors - Personally, I would much prefer to spend the majority of my life outdoors. The thought of living in an RV and traveling everywhere is incredibly appealing to me, as I find solace and inspiration in nature.
Traveler - I have a strong desire to explore anywhere and everywhere, seeking new adventures and experiences that broaden my horizons and enrich my life.
Empath - My empathetic nature allows me to connect deeply with others, feeling their emotions and experiences, which often drives my desire to help and support those around me.

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No one truly understands me

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People around me usually only notice what's right in front of them at any given moment, often missing the many layers that make up who I really am. Their view is limited and shaped by their own experiences and biases, so they tend to overlook the depth of my character. They aren't with me all the time, experiencing every mood, thought, or fleeting emotion I have. Instead, they only see the parts of me that are necessary for them to see, filtered through their own perceptions and experiences. This selective visibility can make me feel disconnected, as I go about my day knowing that my true self is mostly hidden, like an iceberg with only a small part visible above water while most of it is hidden beneath the surface.

At work, I take on the role of a nurse, which means I have to be professional, empathetic, and maintain a certain demeanor that might not really show who I am. In this role, I'm trained to focus on my patients' needs, offer compassion and support, and keep a calm exterior even when things get tough. My coworkers know me as the person I am at work, but they don't know much about my personal life, struggles, or dreams, even though we interact throughout the day. Our interactions are usually about tasks and work stuff, leaving little room for real connections or sharing personal stories. Conversations typically revolve around patient care, medical procedures, or workplace logistics, so we don't often dive into deeper discussions about our lives outside of work.

Think about people who spend a lot of time working; they often don't get many chances to show their other sides, like their vulnerabilities or passions outside of work. The job can take over, leaving little room to explore personal identity. At work, we often put on a front, a kind of shield to protect our true thoughts and feelings from others. This creates a tricky situation where I'm both there and not there, involved but also keeping my distance, trying to meet everyone's expectations. It's like a constant mental workout, where I have to carefully manage my reactions and emotions to stay within what's considered okay at work.

It's all about keeping things balanced, juggling the demands of work with the richness of my inner world. When I'm alone, I think about the differences between my public and private selves. As a nurse, I'm caring, dedicated, and put others' needs first, embodying care and responsibility. But the person behind the scrubs has hopes, fears, and desires that mostly stay hidden, wanting to be expressed and acknowledged. This split can make me feel isolated, as I navigate my life, longing for deeper connections beyond surface-level interactions. Trying to balance these two sides can feel like a heavy load, as I aim to fulfill my duties to my patients while also taking care of my own emotional health.

Ultimately, the challenge is finding spaces where I can be my true self without fear of judgment, where I can be seen and understood in all my complexity. This journey toward being genuine is ongoing, a quest to bridge the gap between who I am at work, who I am in public, and who I am in private. Striving for a harmonious life that honors both sides requires courage and vulnerability, as I seek to build relationships that embrace all aspects of my identity. It's a path filled with hope that one day, I can show the full range of who I am, inviting others to see not just whatever role I have to play with them, but all of me, rich with experiences, emotions, and dreams. This quest for connection drives me to seek out those rare moments of real interaction, where I can peel back the layers and share the stories that shape me, fostering a community that values authenticity and understanding.

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I Just Want to Be Me

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I want to be true to myself, without worrying about what society expects or the pressure from people around me. In a world that often pushes us to fit in and judges us by how we look, what we choose, or what we believe, just being ourselves feels like a big deal. Wanting to be authentic isn't just a passing thought; it's something deep inside that many of us feel when we're out of sync with society's rules. It's not just about being different; it's about feeling free and accepting ourselves for who we are. Every day, we deal with a world that values fitting in more than standing out, where being different can be scarier than being unique. The challenge is breaking away from these invisible limits and daring to show our true selves, even if others might not get it or might criticize us.

Being myself means recognizing my unique traits, quirks, and experiences that make me who I am. It means loving every part of my identity, from the passions that light me up to the interests that fill my spare time. These aren't just hobbies or likes; they're key parts of the puzzle that is me. Celebrating my passions, interests, and the values that mean a lot to me isn't just about self-love; it's about honoring my journey and acknowledging all the experiences that have brought me here. This celebration of self is ongoing, requiring reflection and a willingness to dive deep into who I am. Through this introspection, I can truly appreciate the richness of my life and the unique contributions I can bring to the world.

This journey to self-identity is both freeing and tough, as it often means facing insecurities that have been quietly lurking. Overcoming the fear of being judged is no small task, especially in a society that often values surface-level impressions over real connections. Dealing with relationships where others might not fully understand or accept the real me adds another layer of challenge. It takes guts to stand by who I am, even when others might doubt or disapprove. Each encounter is a test of my determination, pushing me to reaffirm my worth and the truth of my experiences. In this way, the journey is not just about self-acceptance but also about building resilience, embracing vulnerability, and finding strength in being authentic.

Being me is all about growing and figuring myself out. I'm always changing, learning from what I go through, and picking up new insights along the way. It's not a straight path; there are moments of clarity and confusion, joy and struggle, all adding to the story of who I am. Every experience, good or bad, is like a thread in the fabric of my life, making it uniquely mine. As I go through life, I keep discovering new layers of myself. This constant change shows my resilience and my commitment to living true to myself, taking life's lessons and weaving them into who I am.

Being me means embracing who I am while balancing my authenticity with the connections I have with others. It's about creating a space where I can be open, have meaningful conversations, and build relationships that celebrate who I truly am. This balance is key; it lets me stay true to myself and be there for the people I care about. I hope to inspire others to embrace their own identities too, creating a community where everyone feels free to be themselves. By sharing my journey and what I learn, I want to encourage others to start their own paths of self-discovery. Together, we can create a world where diversity is embraced, where everyone's unique story adds to the human experience, and where being yourself is seen as a strength.

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LIKES

Music
Softball
Playing games on phone
Death
Universe.
People watching
Camping
Mountains
Tattoos

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DISLIKES

Lima Beans
Loud Noises
Whining

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FEARS

Ticks
Lice
Fleas
Chiggers
Or anything similar to those spawns from Hell.
Losing my loved ones. Especially my husband and kids.
Bridges
Going too far under any body of water. I know when I think it’s too far.
Having the closet open at night when I’m sleeping.
I used to be scared of the monsters under the bed. Now I’m not because I know those monsters under my bed are my dog and cats.
Driving at night
Driving in pouring rain
Driving in snow
Driving in the mountains
That someone will break in (someone has already tried to once before).
That I will fail at everything I do in life.
That I will never have the kind of family bond I’ve always strived for. Watching all of my children grow up and start families. Being a part of every bit of it. I fear that will not happen.
Even though my son is getting better he still runs his mouth too much. I fear he will say the wrong thing to, or in front of the wrong person, and that’s the end of him. I have seen it happen before.
Flying in planes. I know isn’t it Fed up that a person that loves travel as much as I do is afraid to fly in a plane? I still do it. Xanax and all.

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Why Blog?

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Why did I start this blog? Why is it important to write things down?

Let's dive into how documenting information has been a big deal in shaping human civilization for ages.

In a world where information is everywhere and moves fast, it's important to pause and think about why I started this blog. Sometimes I wonder if anyone's actually reading my posts. If not, that's cool. But if you are, that makes me super happy. Writing these blogs is mostly for me, but I hope it connects with others who might find comfort or insight in what I share. As you keep reading, you'll see my journey has had its ups and downs, shaping who I am today. Each post captures my thoughts and feelings at a particular time. If there's something you'd like me to write about that I haven't yet, just let me know. I'm open to chatting about different topics, as long as it's respectful. The stuff I write here isn't carefully planned; it's more like a spontaneous flow of thoughts and feelings. This raw expression is what makes this blog a true reflection of my inner world.

I started this blog to have a space where I can express my thoughts and feelings freely. There are many parts of my life that are hard to talk about openly, especially with my husband or kids. This creates an emotional barrier because I carry so many thoughts and feelings every day. For a long time, I talked to people thinking they really cared about what I had to say. Some did listen and empathize, but often it felt like my words went unheard. It's isolating when no one seems to understand what you're going through. People might offer sympathy or listen, which is great, but sometimes you want someone who truly gets it. I don't have a big group of friends to turn to whenever I need to share my deepest thoughts. This blog is my safe space, where I can express myself openly and honestly. Writing lets me speak from the heart, without the filters we often use in conversations. When we talk to others, we hold back, worried about judgment or thinking our thoughts might not matter. But writing lets me reflect on my experiences in a raw and honest way. Documenting my thoughts during important moments gives me something to look back on, showing that these experiences are real and meaningful. Writing turns my feelings into words, giving me clarity and a sense of relief.

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The Significance of Writing in History

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You can't underestimate how important it is to document stuff—it's basically the backbone of how civilizations have built their identities and legacies. All through history, societies everywhere have leaned on written records to keep hold of knowledge and the rich mix of culture, traditions, and personal stories that make them unique. From the first cave paintings showing the daily lives and beliefs of our ancestors to the game-changing invention of the printing press in the 15th century, the development of writing has been crucial for spreading ideas and preserving the wide range of human experiences that help us understand the world.

## The Role of Early Documentation

Writing things down has helped societies pass on wisdom through the ages, making sure we don't forget the lessons from past successes and failures. Records let us share scientific breakthroughs, artistic creations, and philosophical ideas, building a knowledge stream that makes our lives richer today. This documentation is more than just keeping track of stuff; it's how we shape identity and preserve cultural heritage. Every piece of writing, whether it's an old manuscript, a personal diary (perfect example is Anne Frank's diary), or a blog post, adds to the big story of humanity, letting us follow the journey of our thoughts, beliefs, and practices over time.

## Personal Narratives and Collective Memory

By sharing my story on this blog, I'm jumping into the age-old tradition of storytelling that links us all, no matter where or when we are. Just like our ancestors who carved their tales into stone or wrote them on parchment, I'm crafting my own story in the vast digital world of the internet. Writing here isn't just about me; it's a way to connect with the bigger human experience. It helps me express my thoughts, look back on my journey, and dive into the complexities of who I am.

## The Tapestry of Human Experience

Plus, it adds to the big picture of human experience, with each entry becoming a thread in the story of life, reflecting the voices of so many people trying to share their truths, fears, hopes, and dreams. So, my blog isn't just a personal outlet; it becomes a way to connect, understand, and share our humanity. Every post invites readers to dive into my experiences, building a sense of community and empathy that's often lacking in our fast-paced, tech-driven world.

## The Power of Digital Storytelling

By writing, I'm not just sharing my own story—I'm also getting others to think about their own and sparking conversations that help us understand each other better. Plus, with the digital age, storytelling has become way more accessible, letting all sorts of voices be heard like never before. Online, stories from marginalized communities, unique viewpoints, and unusual experiences finally have a place, adding to a richer and more inclusive picture of humanity.

## Embracing Responsibility in Storytelling

By jumping into this conversation, I'm not just keeping the storytelling tradition alive—I'm also taking on the responsibility to highlight voices, share experiences, and create a vibe of understanding and respect. Sharing our stories is super important because it helps shape how we all think together. It lets us learn from each other, connect with different experiences, and work towards a kinder world.

## The Legacy of Our Stories

As I keep writing and sharing my thoughts, I'm always thinking about the legacy I'm helping to build—a legacy that celebrates all the amazing aspects of the human experience and aims to connect us on this shared journey through life. With this ongoing story, I hope to encourage others to start writing too, adding their voices to the mix, so our diverse stories keep being told and treasured for future generations. In this web of stories, we find not just our own truths but also the universal connections that tie us together, showing how each story can deeply impact the human experience as a whole.

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What I Didn’t Start it For

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I didn't start it to gain followers

I never got into this for the fame or to get a bunch of likes. For me, it was all about personal growth and really getting to know myself better. I wanted to dig deep into my thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The number of followers was never the point; it was all about the journey of self-discovery and documenting it along the way. I was driven by a genuine need to explore my own mind, face my emotions, and express my experiences in a real and meaningful way. As I went through different parts of my life, I realized this was more than just writing about events—it was about peeling back the layers of who I am. Each piece I written is like a mirror showing me my deepest thoughts, fears, and dreams, helping me face them directly. Writing turned out to be a kind of therapy, giving me a safe space to let my thoughts flow without worrying about what others think. This journey made me look back on some tough times, but through it all, I learned a lot about resilience, vulnerability, and being kind to myself. I came to appreciate the complex mix of emotions we all have, understanding that every feeling—whether it's happiness, sadness, anger, or fear—plays a role in shaping who I am. Sharing my reflections, even with a small audience, helped me feel connected and part of a community. While my main goal was to gain personal insight, I found that my experiences resonated with others on similar journeys. This added a new dimension to my path; it became not just about me, but about engaging in meaningful conversations about our shared human experiences. In the end, this journey is about more than just self-exploration; it's about being true to myself and growing. I've embraced the idea that personal development is a lifelong adventure, one that needs patience and a willingness to change. Each entry I write marks a step in my evolution, capturing moments of understanding about myself and the world. This journey has brought me fulfillment that goes way beyond any superficial measures of success.

I didn't start this to upset anyone

I kicked this off to work on myself, diving into a journey of figuring out who I really am and how I can grow. I've felt for a while that I needed to do this. By regularly looking at my life, I'm hoping to spot where I've messed up and fix it, aiming to be a better person both personally and professionally. This isn't just a quick exercise; it's a deep dive into understanding my actions, thoughts, and behaviors. Taking time to think about my experiences helps me face my flaws directly, see where I've slipped up, and notice the patterns that got me there. This self-check helps me stay accountable, which is key for making real changes. I think that by sharing what I'm going through, I can keep myself on track and maybe even inspire others to start their own journeys of self-improvement. Writing down my thoughts and experiences is a strong reminder of what I'm aiming for. It lets me put my struggles and wins into words, making them feel real. Through sharing my story, I hope to build a community where others feel encouraged to think about their own lives and how they can grow too. My goal with all this reflection is to spark positive change in myself, which I hope will spread out and positively touch those around me. I imagine this ripple effect, where my dedication to self-improvement not only boosts my life but also inspires friends, family, and even strangers to start their own journeys of transformation. By creating a space of openness and vulnerability, I want to build connections based on realness and shared experiences. In the end, I want to help create a culture of growth and self-awareness, where people are motivated to reflect, learn, and keep evolving. This isn't just about making myself better; it's about building a supportive network that encourages everyone to strive for improvement.

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What I Did Start it For

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To Lighten my Burden

I've figured out over time that people aren't really into hearing my complaints; they've got their own stuff to handle and often feel swamped by their own lives. This understanding didn't happen overnight—it came as I watched how my relationships worked and noticed what others around me were going through emotionally. I don't have any family members I'm super close to, which makes things a bit more complicated. My husband is my main go-to person, and he does listen to me, but I know there's a limit to how much he can take before it wears him out. He's a champ for trying to be supportive and understanding, but sometimes I can tell he's getting frustrated and just wants a bit of quiet time.

With my kids, it's a bit tricky too; there are things I just can't talk to them about until they're older, and even then, some topics are off-limits to keep their innocence intact and not overload them with grown-up stuff too soon. This protective instinct creates a barrier, leaving me feeling isolated when I want to share deeper feelings or frustrations that aren't easy to explain in a way that's right for their age.

This realization has been a big turning point for me. It taught me to be mindful of others' emotional limits and remember that everyone is dealing with their own hidden struggles. Instead of dumping my complaints and frustrations on those around me, I'm trying to find healthier ways to deal with my thoughts and feelings. These writings have helped me not just process my emotions but also understand my own needs and those of the people I care about better.

By shifting my focus from looking for validation through complaints to taking care of my own emotional well-being, I've found a sense of empowerment and peace. This change has not only boosted my mental health but also improved my relationships, allowing me to be more present and supportive for my husband and kids without the weight of unspoken issues. In the end, this journey of self-discovery and emotional balance has been priceless, teaching me that while it's natural to want to connect through shared experiences, sometimes the best way to connect is by building resilience and independence within myself.

To Assist Those Experiencing Similar Circumstances

I really hope that by sharing my experiences and insights, I can offer some comfort and understanding to those who might be feeling alone in their struggles. Life can get pretty overwhelming, and during tough times, it’s easy to think we’re fighting our battles solo. But knowing there are others out there who feel the same way can be super comforting and reassuring. It reminds us we’re not alone in this crazy journey called life. I want to create a friendly and inclusive space where people can connect over shared experiences, encouraging open conversations and mutual respect.

My goal is to build a community where we can support each other and share tips for handling life's ups and downs. In this community, we can dive into topics like mental health, personal growth, and resilience, allowing for a rich exchange of ideas and experiences. By talking openly about our struggles, we can break down the stigma and isolation that often come with tough times. Sharing personal stories can not only bring comfort but also inspire hope and motivate others to find their own paths to healing and growth.

Plus, I believe that by talking about the challenges we face together, we can discover practical strategies that have worked for us. This team effort can empower everyone to take proactive steps in their own lives, whether that means trying new coping methods, seeking professional help, or simply knowing when to take a break and practice self-care. Together, we can create a toolkit of resources and support systems to lean on when needed. Ultimately, I want to nurture a lively community where everyone feels valued and heard, and where we can all navigate life’s complexities with compassion and understanding.

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"To Have Someone to Talk To"

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I just tried to chat with my husband while we were chilling in the hot tub, hoping it would be the perfect time for some deep conversation and bonding. The warm water was all around us, making it feel super peaceful and perfect for sharing our thoughts. The gentle bubbles and soothing warmth were supposed to help us relax and have a meaningful talk. But, to my disappointment, he was more into his phone than our conversation, which wasn’t what I had in mind for that moment.

It was a bummer to see him scrolling through social media, tapping on notifications, and getting lost in the digital world while I was craving his attention. Every swipe felt like a wall going up between us, getting higher by the second. He'd look up now and then to say a few words, but they felt more like polite responses than real engagement, lacking the warmth and presence I was hoping for. I could tell my attempts to connect were met with indifference, making me feel invisible, like my thoughts and feelings were just background noise to his online activities.

As you can see, I don't really have him to talk to the way I need. When I try to bring up important stuff that's on my mind and heart, it feels like I hit a wall of distraction that's impossible to break through. Most of the time, his focus stays glued to the screen, and when he does respond, it often sounds like he's annoyed or angry, as if my need to connect is messing up his downtime. This situation has left me feeling frustrated and alone, wishing for a space where I can openly share my days, thoughts, and feelings without being dismissed or interrupted.

It’s a bummer, but it feels like nobody around me really wants to listen, which makes me feel pretty lonely. My few friends are usually busy with their own stuff, dealing with their own issues, and my family is spread out all over the place, so it’s tough to find someone who can really listen. Not having a support system makes me feel even more isolated as I try to handle my thoughts and feelings on my own. Maybe you guys can be the ones to give me the understanding and connection I’m looking for, so I don’t feel so alone on this journey.

This ongoing struggle to have meaningful conversations has left me feeling kind of isolated and unheard. I do appreciate the moments we have, but I often wish for deeper talks that could help us connect on an emotional level. It’s discouraging when I feel like my efforts to connect are met with distraction or lack of interest, making me feel more distant from my partner. I really want those times when we can sit down and share our thoughts, dreams, and fears, so we can truly understand each other better.

I dream of evenings where we can talk about our goals, reflect on our experiences, and dive into our emotions, creating a safe space for being open and honest. These moments of connection are crucial for nurturing our relationship, helping us build a foundation of trust and understanding. That’s why I’m reaching out like this; I hope to find people who want to have thoughtful conversations, who can share their unique views, and who might even relate to what I’m going through.

I'm looking for a community where I can really be heard, where I can share my story and hear others' stories too, creating a mix of shared experiences that help ease those lonely feelings I sometimes get. In my search for connection, I hope to find not just understanding, but also the warmth of friendship that comes from knowing we're not alone in what we're going through. I really want to feel the comfort of knowing there are people who get the complexities of relationships and the deep need for meaningful communication. Together, maybe we can tackle these feelings of loneliness and find comfort in shared understanding, building connections that make our lives richer and help us feel less alone in our journeys.

Through these connections, I aim to create a support network that lets us express ourselves freely and genuinely. By sharing our vulnerabilities, we can find strength, and by listening to each other's stories, we can build empathy and compassion. I'm excited to dive into conversations that go beyond the surface, exploring the depths of our experiences and emotions, and ultimately finding the beauty in our shared humanity.

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I Feel a Change Coming

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I'm starting to feel a big change coming in my life, and it's that mix of familiar and unsettling that I've felt before. It's that moment when I realize I'm about to step out of my comfort zone, something that always feels scary but necessary. It reminds me of that huge decision I made years ago when I suddenly quit my stable government job to dive into nursing school in my mid-thirties. Back then, I was juggling being a mom to four young kids, one of whom needed extra attention due to behavioral challenges. Everyone around me, including friends and family, thought I was nuts for making such a drastic change, and honestly, I doubted myself too. But looking back, I'm so grateful for that bold move because it brought me to where I am now, a place that feels more in tune with who I really am and what I love.

This feeling of change has been with me through different career shifts, like when I became a school nurse. It was a role that just clicked with my skills and interests, letting me mix my caring nature with my professional know-how to support kids and their families. I felt it again when I decided to leave the psychiatric field, which, although rewarding, was emotionally tough. The heavy stories and intense situations often left me feeling drained. Then there was the nerve-wracking jump into the ER as a new nurse—a place that was not only super fast-paced but also really intimidating. I remember the overwhelming rush of being thrown into that high-pressure environment, where every second mattered and decisions had to be made on the fly. It was terrifying yet thrilling, and I was caught in a whirlwind of adrenaline and uncertainty. Eventually, I realized the ER was just too much for me, leading to another career shift, just like when I left my government job.

I'm feeling that shift again, and it's a wild mix of excitement and a bit of nervousness. I really love my job in hospice care, where I get to provide comfort and support to people during such a meaningful time in their lives. I've realized that this field is definitely my calling because it lets me connect with others and offer them peace in their final moments. But I've also figured out that it's possible to have more than one calling. Writing has always been in the back of my mind and heart, calling out to me like a siren song that I've often ignored because of more pressing responsibilities. For years, I've put off this passion, telling myself I'd start writing when the time was right, when everything lined up perfectly, or when I wasn't so busy. But now, after a lot of thinking, I finally feel it's time to embrace this calling too, to let my voice be heard and my stories shared.

I've spent a lot of time pondering these thoughts, thinking it's just part of being human. But when I started asking others if they often had random thoughts or musings, their answers surprised me. Many people said no, that they didn't have a constant stream of thoughts running through their minds. I remember countless evenings in the hot tub with my husband, where I'd go on about all sorts of things, from everyday stuff to deep life questions. He often seemed overwhelmed and sometimes even annoyed by my endless chatter. When I asked if he had similar thoughts, he'd say he did sometimes, but definitely not as much as I did. This difference made me think a lot about my own thought processes and the nature of creativity. It made me wonder if my tendency for introspection and analysis was a gift or a burden, a source of inspiration or a wellspring of anxiety.

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Maybe I Can Write a Book?

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I've often joked that I could write a whole book—or maybe several—packed with my stories, experiences, and observations. Each one adds a unique piece to the puzzle of my life. The idea of pulling all these tales together is both exciting and a bit overwhelming, mixing thrill with a touch of anxiety that keeps my creative juices flowing. Yet, I sometimes wonder why and when I choose to post certain things or jot down specific thoughts. Inspiration seems to hit me out of the blue, like some mysterious force nudging me to capture those fleeting creative sparks before they vanish into thin air.

It's like there's a bubbling spring of ideas just beneath the surface of my mind, waiting for the perfect moment to spill over in a flood of words and images. I feel this strong urge to listen to the little voice in my head that keeps saying, "Write it down!" So, I go with it and let the words pour out naturally. This creative drive often leads me to dive into all sorts of topics, including my take on bipolar disorder—a subject that really deserves its own space and in-depth discussion. Mental health, especially the complexities of conditions like bi-polar, fascinates me and holds a personal significance, echoing my own experiences and observations.

I think it's crucial to share the stories of those facing these challenges with compassion, understanding, and respect. We need to highlight the details of these experiences, break the stigma around mental illness, and start conversations that promote empathy and support. This dialogue is key to creating a more inclusive society where people feel safe to open up about their struggles without fear of judgment. But that's a topic for another blog, one I hope to tackle with the care and depth it deserves, making sure the voices of those affected are heard and valued. I dream of creating a space where these stories can thrive, where the complexities of mental health can be explored in a way that's both enlightening and healing.

As I'm going through this new phase in my life, I'm pretty excited about what's coming up. I'm ready to take on the challenges and opportunities that come with stepping out of my comfort zone again. I know that growing often means feeling a bit uncomfortable, and that's something I really get. The journey of figuring myself out is rarely simple; it's usually full of bumps and unknowns that test our determination. I'm set to tackle whatever comes my way, whether it's jumping into writing or continuing to hone my skills in hospice care, which is super important to me.

In hospice care, I've seen how powerful compassion and understanding can be during some of life's toughest times. This field has shown me how crucial it is to really be there for someone when they need it the most. I'm excited to see how these paths will mix and influence my journey, with each experience adding to my personal and professional growth. The future is a bit unpredictable, like a blank canvas waiting for the vibrant colors of my experiences and dreams. But I'm learning to trust the process, embrace change, and welcome all the possibilities that come when I step beyond what I know.

Every new adventure is a chance to learn, grow, and connect with others, and I'm ready to dive into those opportunities with open arms. I get that every story I tell, every experience I share, can resonate with someone else and create a connection that goes beyond our individual paths. As I start this exciting chapter of my life, I believe that my words can add to a bigger story—one that promotes understanding, compassion, and shared humanity. I'm looking forward to exploring my creativity and the richness of my experiences, eager to see how they'll unfold in the chapters that are yet to be written.

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One at a Time

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Sometimes I get to wear just one hat, and honestly, it's pretty nice. Being able to focus on one role lets me dive deep into that part of my life, whether it’s work-related or something personal. This kind of focus brings clarity and purpose, which is tough to find when I'm juggling a bunch of different tasks and responsibilities. When I can pour all my energy into one thing, I can really get creative without all the usual distractions of multitasking.

Sticking to one thing not only boosts my productivity but also makes the experience more rewarding. When I'm wearing just one hat, I can really get into the details of that role. Like, if I'm working on a project at work, focusing only on that lets me think critically and come up with innovative ideas. I can brainstorm, plan, and execute with a depth that's just not possible if I'm trying to handle other stuff at the same time. This kind of immersion gives me a real sense of accomplishment when I see a project through from start to finish, without all the interruptions that come with multitasking.

But it gets tricky when I have to wear multiple hats at once. It can quickly get overwhelming since each hat means a different role or responsibility demanding my time and energy. For example, I might switch from a professional role, where I have to meet deadlines and work with colleagues, to a personal role where I need to be there for family or friends. On top of that, there are household duties and personal projects, making it feel like an endless cycle of responsibilities. Balancing all these roles often feels like walking a tightrope, where one wrong move could throw everything into chaos.

The mental load can be heavy, and the pressure to do well in each role can feel impossible, leading to stress and anxiety. Each hat comes with its own set of expectations, adding another layer of complexity. At work, it might be about being productive, innovative, and a team player, where I have to constantly prove my worth and contribute to group goals. Meanwhile, in my personal life, it's about providing emotional support, nurturing relationships, and keeping things harmonious at home. Constantly switching between these expectations can be mentally draining as I try to meet the demands of each role without losing my own well-being.

## Navigating Complexities

Dealing with all these complicated things needs a bit of planning. I've realized that setting clear boundaries is key to managing my time and energy. For example, I make sure to have specific work hours and set aside time for family or personal projects. This helps me keep my responsibilities separate. By doing this, I can really focus on one part of my life at a time and be fully present in whatever I'm doing. Plus, I prioritize tasks based on what's urgent and important, so I can concentrate on what matters most right then.

Stick around, and you'll get to know more about me, my experiences, and how I juggle different roles in my personal and professional life. I'll share how I handle these various responsibilities, like using time management techniques, practicing mindfulness, and making sure to take care of myself.

## Strategies for Balance

Managing my time is super important for handling all my different responsibilities. I like to use digital tools and planners to map out my day, setting aside specific times for each task. This keeps me organized and gives me a clear picture of what I need to get done, which helps me avoid feeling overwhelmed. I also rely on mindfulness practices like meditation and deep breathing to stay grounded. These moments of calm help me reset and tackle my tasks with fresh focus.

I’ve learned a lot from the challenges I've faced, like how important it is to ask for help and be flexible with my plans. Realizing I can't do everything on my own has been a big eye-opener. Whether it’s getting help from coworkers on a project or leaning on family at home, asking for help usually leads to better results and less stress. Being flexible is key too; life can be unpredictable, and being open to changing my plans when needed helps me keep things balanced and under control.

## Cultivating Resilience

Let me share how I try to keep things balanced and fulfilling even when life gets hectic. I'll talk about how I build resilience and adaptability when juggling different demands. Resilience isn't just bouncing back from tough times; it's about having the mental strength to handle life's ups and downs smoothly. I've learned to welcome change and uncertainty, seeing every challenge as a chance to grow and learn.

By reflecting on these experiences, I hope to give you a peek into the complex juggling act many of us do every day and the resilience needed to thrive in such a busy life. My journey isn't only about managing tasks; it's also about finding joy in the process and learning to roll with the unpredictability of wearing many hats. Every experience, whether tough or rewarding, helps me grow and understand what it means to live a balanced and fulfilling life.

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Things I hope people get out of this

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Sense of Self Worth

I really hope that as you go through my experiences and thoughts, you start to see just how important it is to recognize your own worth and the unique role you play in the world. Everyone has their own special mix of qualities, talents, and strengths that add to the colorful tapestry of life. These traits not only define who we are but also shape how we connect with others and tackle life's challenges. Knowing your self-worth isn't just about feeling good; it's a key part of growing personally and being emotionally strong. It's the base you need to build confidence and handle the twists and turns of relationships, career choices, and personal goals.

Plus, when you recognize your own value, you start to really appreciate the diversity of human experiences. By acknowledging your strengths, you also become more open to seeing and valuing the strengths in others. This mutual recognition helps create a sense of community and belonging, as we learn to celebrate our differences while finding common ground. It's important to remember that self-worth isn't about getting approval from others or meeting societal standards; it's something that comes from within, waiting to be recognized and embraced.

As you think about your journey, consider the moments that have shaped how you understand your self-worth. Reflect on the challenges you've overcome, the skills you've picked up, and the relationships you've built. Each of these experiences adds layers to who you are and helps you understand your value better. Embracing your self-worth lets you face life's challenges with more resilience and optimism. You become better at handling setbacks, knowing that your value doesn't decrease when things get tough.

In the end, recognizing your own value is a personal and ongoing journey. It takes introspection, self-kindness, and a willingness to accept both your strengths and weaknesses. I encourage you to take the time to dive into this important part of your life, as it can lead to big changes in how you see yourself and interact with the world. By acknowledging your worth, you not only empower yourself but also inspire others to do the same, creating a ripple effect that enhances the collective human experience.

Knowledge

I hope that by sharing my journey, I can pass on some useful insights and lessons I've picked up along the way. Every step I've taken has come with its own set of challenges and wins, shaping how I see life. Knowledge is powerful, and I truly believe that by swapping experiences, we can all grow and evolve. This sharing not only enriches our lives but also helps build a sense of community and connection among us. Looking back on the milestones of my journey, I realize each moment has added to a bigger picture of wisdom that I'm excited to share. From doubts and uncertainties to moments of clarity and confidence, every experience has taught me lessons that apply not just to my life but to others who might be on similar paths. By sharing these insights, I hope to encourage others to reflect on their own journeys, see the value in their experiences, and understand that growth often comes from tough times. By talking about the challenges I faced and how I overcame them, I aim to offer practical advice that can inspire others to tackle their own challenges with resilience and determination. Plus, sharing isn't just a one-way street; it opens the door for dialogue and collaboration. When we share our stories, we invite others to share theirs, creating a rich mix of diverse experiences and perspectives. This collective wisdom broadens our understanding of ourselves and the world around us, allowing us to learn from one another in meaningful ways. Ultimately, I want to create a space where we can all have meaningful conversations about our journeys, fostering an environment of mutual support and encouragement. Together, by sharing our stories and insights, we can deepen our understanding of the human experience, paving the way for personal growth and a more connected world.

A Different Perspective

Life is like a colorful mix of different views, a beautiful blend of experiences, beliefs, and perspectives from people everywhere. Each part adds to the bigger picture, showing off the complexity and beauty of being human. I want to give you a peek into my world, sharing how I see things and handle life's ups and downs. By sharing my thoughts, I hope to not only show you my unique take on things but also get you thinking about your own experiences and maybe even consider new ways of seeing things that might click with you or challenge what you already believe.

Through my own lens, I've faced many situations that have shaped how I see life. Whether it's been in good times or bad, wins or losses, each experience has helped me grow and understand more about human interactions and emotions. By talking about these moments, I hope to offer insights that might light up paths you haven't thought about or confirm beliefs you already hold dear. For instance, when challenges pop up, I often think about how important it is to be resilient and adaptable. Life doesn't usually go in a straight line, and being able to change and rethink our plans when things get tough is a skill worth developing. By sharing my stories of overcoming hurdles, I hope to inspire you to tackle your challenges with curiosity and openness, seeing them as chances to grow rather than impossible obstacles.

I also know that my perspective is just one among many. It's shaped by my background, culture, and personal experiences, which might be quite different from yours. This diversity is what makes our shared human experience so rich and vibrant. I encourage you to take what resonates with you from my reflections and add it to your understanding, while also staying open to others' perspectives. Engaging with different viewpoints can broaden our minds and deepen our empathy for one another.

By sharing my perspective, I also hope to spark dialogue and connection. Life isn't meant to be lived alone; it's through our interactions and exchanges that we find common ground and build understanding. I invite you to think about your own views and share them, as this exchange can lead to deep insights and a greater appreciation for life's complexity. Ultimately, my goal is to create a space where we can explore these different perspectives together. By doing so, we can enrich our understanding of the world and each other, paving the way for personal growth and deeper connections in our lives. I hope my reflections inspire you to think critically about your own experiences and encourage you to embrace the beautiful mosaic of life with an open heart and mind.

Knowing You Aren’t Alone

Finally, I just want to stress how crucial it is to have connections and a sense of community in our lives. As the world gets busier and sometimes feels lonely, being able to connect with others who've been through the same stuff can be super comforting and make us feel understood. Sharing our experiences builds a bridge that goes beyond our personal struggles. This connection helps us feel like we belong and reminds us we're not alone, no matter how tough things get. Through these shared experiences, we find strength and resilience, knowing others have been down similar roads and have learned valuable lessons along the way.

Sharing our stories not only helps us make sense of our own experiences but also encourages others to do the same. It creates a space where vulnerability meets empathy, leading to deeper relationships and support networks. Realizing that others have faced the same fears, doubts, and hurdles makes our own burdens feel lighter. Every story shared is like a thread in the fabric of community, weaving a tapestry of shared experiences that enriches us all.

I hope that through my stories, you find not just reassurance but also a sense of solidarity in the experiences we go through together. I genuinely hope these stories connect with you, offering comfort during tough times and sparking hope for better days. Remember, when things feel bleak, it's often the connections we make and the communities we build that help us through, reminding us we're part of something bigger. Together, we can create a culture of support, understanding, and love, making sure no one has to face their challenges alone.

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Anything in Common?

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You might come across different topics in conversations, writings, or your own reflections that can really deepen your understanding of life and the world. Each subject brings its own unique insights and experiences, connecting with people in different ways and offering a wide range of perspectives and knowledge.

Mom life: Being a mom is a wild ride full of ups and downs. From those sleepless nights with a newborn to watching your kids grow into their own little people, it's all about love, sacrifice, and growing as a person. It's also about connecting with other moms to share tips on parenting, schooling, and juggling work and family life.
Wife life: Being a wife is all about teamwork and partnership. It's about the daily grind, sharing chores, and being there for each other emotionally. Conversations might touch on how relationships change over time, the need for good communication, and how to keep your own identity while building a strong relationship.
Nurse life: Life as a nurse is all about dedication and caring. It involves tough training, long shifts, and high-pressure situations, but the impact on patients' lives is huge. It also means dealing with the emotional side of caregiving and remembering to take care of yourself too.
Religion: This is all about exploring faith and spirituality. It covers different religions and practices, their teachings and rituals, and how they fit into people's lives. It also looks at how religion intersects with culture and ethics, and the conversations around belief systems in today's diverse world.
Science: Diving into science means looking at how we understand the world around us. This includes big discoveries, the scientific method, and why critical thinking is key. It also looks at how science affects society, from tech and medicine to environmental issues.
Psychology/sociology: These areas study how people think and act, and how societies function. Topics can include mental health, how we develop over time, and social norms. Learning about these can boost empathy and improve how we relate to others.
History: History gives us a peek into the past, teaching us about events, cultures, and important figures. It's about learning from past successes and mistakes, and using that knowledge to understand today's world and spot patterns that might come up again.
Astronomy: This fascinating field takes us beyond Earth to explore stars, planets, and galaxies. It covers the latest in space discoveries, the mysteries of black holes, and the search for life out there. Astronomy makes us think about our place in the universe and the sheer vastness of it all.
- Theories/hypotheses: Getting into theories and hypotheses is a great way to boost your critical thinking and explore new ideas. This topic can dive into all sorts of areas, like science, philosophy, and psychology. It’s all about chatting about what counts as evidence, how we come up with hypotheses, and why it's key to keep questioning and updating what we know when new info pops up.
- Past experiences: Looking back on what we've been through can give us some cool insights into how we've grown and the lessons we've picked up along the way. It’s about sharing stories of wins, losses, and everything in between, showing how these experiences shape who we are and guide our choices. It highlights how being resilient and adaptable helps us tackle life's ups and downs.
- Life lessons learned: Life lessons are often a mix of what we've done, seen, and thought about. This topic is all about the wisdom we gain from both the good and the bad, stressing the importance of learning from our goofs and celebrating our wins. Sharing these lessons can hit home for others and get them thinking about their own paths.
- Advice that you only have to take if you want to: This one’s all about the idea that advice is personal and should be weighed against your own experiences. While sharing tips and suggestions can be useful, it’s ultimately up to you to decide what clicks. This way, you’re encouraged to think critically about the advice you get and make your own choices.
- Different perspectives: Checking out different perspectives can really deepen our understanding of tricky issues and build empathy. This topic encourages us to keep an open mind and consider views that might not match our own. Engaging with a variety of opinions can lead to richer discussions and a better grasp of the human experience's complexities.
- Devil's advocate moments: Playing devil's advocate can really get the gears turning and challenge what we usually think. This approach pushes us to look at other viewpoints and dive into meaningful debates. It can help us understand issues more deeply and fine-tune our own beliefs and arguments.
- To be honest, a lot of random things: Life’s full of random thoughts and musings that might not fit into neat categories but can still be insightful or just plain fun. This topic celebrates the spontaneity of thought and the beauty of creativity, letting ideas and reflections flow freely, sparking inspiration or just a good laugh.

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Little-Known Facts About Me

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Shapes All Around

I've always loved making shapes out of random stuff and natural things, especially clouds. This goes way back to when I was a kid, lying on the grass and staring up at the big blue sky, waiting for the fluffy clouds to float by. My imagination would go wild as I watched these airy shapes turn into different figures, each telling its own little story. Just the other day, I was totally mesmerized by a cloud that looked a lot like an octopus tentacle, with its wispy edges curling and twisting in the breeze. As I kept watching, it turned into an angry Patrick from SpongeBob SquarePants, with his classic scowl showing even in the sky. A moment later, it changed again, this time into a melting monster, its gooey form stretching and dripping away. This fun game with nature doesn’t stop at clouds; I also see shapes in the bowl where I clean my mouth guard every night. With denture cleaner, I watch the bubbly foam rise and swirl, creating temporary sculptures that disappear as fast as they appear. The foam on my cappuccinos is another canvas, where the frothy designs can look like anything from abstract art to cute animals. Even hair strands that stick to the shower wall can spark my imagination. Before I joined the military, I was dating this guy and spent a lot of time with him and his two roommates before heading off to boot camp. I also enjoyed hanging out with his two younger brothers, making memories that have stuck with me. As for my shower routine, I have this quirky habit of not rinsing my hair down the drain to avoid clogs. One day, after forgetting to remove the hair from the wall post-shower, my boyfriend made a funny comment about it. This sparked a creative idea, and I started using my hair to write playful messages on the wall, which he would respond to. This turned into a fun little game for a while, a whimsical exchange of messages, until it eventually lost its charm.

If Only I Had the Voice

When I was a kid, I dreamed of being a famous singer, traveling the world and sharing my music with everyone. I loved karaoke and would often get my friends to join in. They usually picked the parts with fewer lines, leaving me to be the star of our little shows. Back then, I was so sure of my talent and would often brag about being a way better singer than anyone else.

On my second cruise with my ex-husband, we finally got a break from the kids, thanks to my in-laws who offered to babysit our firstborn. I jumped at the chance to do karaoke every night on the ship, completely unaware of how bad I actually sounded. They were holding auditions for a talent show at the end of the cruise, and I was up there on stage a lot, singing my heart out. One of the songs I picked was Britney Spears' "Oops... I Did It Again." No one else wanted to sing it, so I gave it a shot. I even had some makeshift backup dancers and wore a wig that made me look a lot like Britney in her famous music video. But when I watched the tape of my performance, I was so embarrassed. I quickly got rid of the recording and promised myself I'd never do karaoke in public again. Now, I only sing at small get-togethers with people I know and trust, where I won't be judged.

The other singers who made it to the show actually sounded like the celebrities they were impersonating, which made my performance even funnier. The crowd had a good laugh that night, and I learned an important lesson about knowing my limits.

Childhood Yucky Habits

Sometimes, I catch myself doing the embarrassing act of nose-picking. If you see me doing it, just look away and mind your own business. Occasionally, there's a pesky piece that just needs to go, and if picking is the only way, my finger's going up there. It's a natural thing that many don't talk about, but it's a part of being human with all our little quirks. I try to be sneaky about it, but sometimes the urge is just too strong. In those moments, I’m stuck between wanting to be comfortable and following the social rules about what’s okay in public. It's one of those funny little things we all do but don’t admit. So, if you catch me in the act, know it’s just a quick fix, not a reflection of who I am.

Yes, I do carry hand sanitizer with me everywhere.

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Lists

People in History that I Admire

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Musicians - I like A LOT of musicians, these are just my top

Anberlin
Hanson
Asking Alexandria
Bring me the Horizon
Of Mice and Men
Architects
Bob Marley
Boyz 2 Men
Brooks & Dunn
Bryan Adam
Ed Sheeran
The Early November
Elton John
Eminem
Green Day
I the Mighty
John Michael Montgomery
Journey
Mariah Carey
Memphis May Fire
Michael Jackson
My American Heart
New Kids on the Block - best live show EVER!!!
Randy Travis
Reba McEntire
Something Corporate
Staind
Taylor Swift
Three Days Grace
Breaking Benjamin
Toby Keith
Alan Jackson
Kenny Chesney
Garth Brooks
Tim McGraw
The Used
Linkin Park

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Actors/Actresses

Robin Williams ~ #1
Heath Ledger
Julia Stiles
Julia Roberts
Morgan Freeman
Reese Witherspoon
Nicole Kidman
Jack Black
Zoey Deschanel
Jennifer Lawrence
Anne Hathaway
Sandra Bullock
Johnny Depp
Ryan Reynolds
Will Smith
Matthew McConaughey
Chris Hemsworth
Ian Hemsworth
Dwayne Johnson
Tom Hiddleston
Leonardo DiCaprio
Tom Hanks
Meg Ryan
Melissa McCarthy
Anna Kendrick
Bradley Cooper
Denzel Washington
Jack Nicholson
Emma Watson
Kate Winslet
Diane Keeton
Judy Garland
Angela Bassett
Julie Andrew’s
Kathy Bates
Adam Sandler
Emma Stone (though I heard she isn’t a nice person, that makes me sad if that’s true.)
Katherine Heigl (I heard she wasn’t nice either 😭)