Children 💝

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Let Them Grow up

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Every loving parent goes through that emotional moment when their kids aren't little anymore. It's a mix of pride, nostalgia, and a bit of sadness. Watching them step out into the world is both exciting and nerve-wracking, as you think about how you've helped them get ready to handle life's ups and downs. You see they're ready to take on the world, armed with the values and skills you've taught them.

As your kid grows into an amazing young adult, they start to find their own way. Their new interests and achievements, like graduating or landing their first job, show off the strong foundation you built together. Their maturity and decisions shine a light on all the support and guidance you've given them.

You notice how they spread joy and connect with others through laughter and kindness. Their compassion and understanding give you confidence in their ability to build meaningful relationships and create lasting memories.

You're sure they're going to make a positive mark on the world, whether it's through their career, community activities, or just everyday interactions. Their dedication to integrity, respect, and kindness will inspire those around them, making you proud as the lessons you taught them take hold.

This realization highlights the incredible achievement of raising a child ready to tackle the world with confidence and grace. The journey of parenthood, with all its ups and downs, has prepared them to thrive, enriching your life beyond measure. Watching them grow fills you with a deep sense of fulfillment, knowing you've been a key part in shaping who they've become.

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The Lost Ones

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Back in the day, I couldn't always say I was confident about all my kids. Each one has their own personality, strengths, and challenges that have shaped how I see them over time. But I've always been sure about my youngest daughter. She's super responsible and mature, and her kindness and understanding in social situations make me really proud. I trust she'll make smart choices and chase her dreams with passion.

When it comes to my youngest son and oldest daughter, things are a bit more complicated. My youngest son is full of energy and creativity, but he can be a bit impulsive, which sometimes leads to misunderstandings. I worry about whether he can direct his enthusiasm in a good way and if he really gets the consequences of his actions. It's all about finding the right balance between encouraging him and giving him guidance.

My oldest daughter is fiercely independent and determined, which I admire, but her decisions sometimes leave me unsure. I wonder if she fully understands how her choices might affect her future, especially during these teenage years.

My biggest worry is my oldest son. His rebellious streak and history of pushing limits, including some time in juvenile detention, make me anxious about what lies ahead for him. I'm afraid he might get stuck in a cycle of trouble. His tendency to speak his mind without thinking can lead to serious consequences, especially with authority figures and friends. Even though I try to guide him, I often feel powerless when he makes decisions that could mess up his future.

In short, while I'm confident about my youngest daughter, my feelings about my other kids are more mixed. The challenges with my youngest son and oldest daughter, along with my deep concern for my oldest son, make parenting a bit complicated. Every day is a chance for them to grow, and I really hope for the best as they find their way in life.

TLC - Waterfalls

I'm not scared anymore. Over time, I've come to really understand and accept things, feeling sure that he'll be alright. I believe he'll do great and make a positive difference in the world. Our journey, though tough, has shown me his strengths and potential.

A few years back, I would've laughed and cried at the idea of this change. I was stuck in doubt and fear, overwhelmed by uncertainty. Coming out of that darkness into hope seemed impossible.

I underestimated his resilience, letting my fears cloud my view of what he could do. Realizing that my doubts were holding back both his growth and my peace of mind was quite humbling.

Now, I'm relieved to know there's hope. The path to healing isn't straightforward, but it's full of chances to learn and grow. The support, resources, and love we found were key. I'm thankful for the lessons learned, which have shaped both his journey and my understanding of hope and resilience.

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The Wicked Witch of the East

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As I reflect on my life, a wave of self-loathing sometimes washes over me, particularly when I confront the reality that I played a significant role in the difficulties my son faced throughout his formative years. This painful realization hits me with the weight of a thousand regrets: I am the reason he never had the chance to experience a normal, carefree childhood. I often find myself wishing that I had shown him more love, more affection, and more understanding instead of the harsh criticism that became all too familiar. I wish I had embraced him wholeheartedly instead of keeping him at arm's length, creating a barrier that stifled his emotional growth. Instead of speaking to him gently, I resorted to shouting, diminishing his sense of worth and leaving scars that may last a lifetime.

In my misguided attempts to fulfill my role as a parent, I thought I was simply doing my duty. I believed that raising my voice and enforcing discipline were necessary measures to gain their attention and instill a sense of responsibility. I thought that by being authoritative, I was guiding them towards the right path. Yet, the reality I now see is starkly different. My actions, which I justified as tough love, often led to feelings of fear and resentment rather than respect and understanding. I failed to recognize that my approach was counterproductive, pushing my son further away instead of drawing him closer.

Breaking News! The unfortunate truth is that children often ignore the yelling. They disconnect emotionally from the very people who are supposed to nurture them. Instead of feeling motivated to improve, they start engaging in negative self-talk, internalizing the harsh words spoken to them, and begin to harm others as a misguided expression of the deep pain they feel inside. This cycle of negativity perpetuates itself, creating a chasm between parents and their children that can be incredibly difficult to bridge.

There have been countless moments when my husband would continue to raise his voice, going on and on while "yelling" at the kids. I would sit there, feeling a mix of frustration and helplessness, internally rolling my eyes and thinking, When is this going to end? He's just repeating himself over and over, and it's not making a difference. I could see the effect it had on our children, and yet I felt powerless to intervene, caught in a cycle of learned behavior that I had inherited.

My son often expressed his feelings to me in ways that I failed to comprehend fully at the time. He would say things like, "I might as well do what you're accusing me of since you already think I did it." Or he would lament, "I'm in trouble; I'm going to get in trouble anyway." In my ignorance, I used to mock him for those sentiments, dismissing his words as mere teenage rebellion. But looking back, I realize that he was voicing a painful truth about his perception of our family dynamics.

However, it was true! It was a harsh reflection of the reality I had created for him, a reality filled with judgment and disappointment. I had become just like my mother, the one person I vowed never to emulate. I had inadvertently mirrored the very behaviors that caused me pain in my own childhood.

I damaged my son's life just as she had damaged mine, and the weight of that truth is utterly devastating. As they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and in this case, the resemblance is painfully evident. The realization that I had become a source of hurt for my child, rather than a source of comfort and support, is a burden I carry with me daily.

Despite the darkness of these experiences, I hold onto a flicker of hope. I hope that all the terrible experiences he endured will stay with him throughout his life not as a source of bitterness but as a catalyst for change. Perhaps one day, he can become an advocate for misunderstood children facing similar challenges, using his voice to help others navigate the turbulent waters of childhood. I truly hope he does! I want him to follow in his mother's footsteps, not in the sense of repeating my mistakes, but in becoming a better version of what I could have been. I am proud of the person I have become and am continuing to become, and I want him to feel that same pride in himself.

All of this happened because we choose to remain positive. We choose to fight against the negativity that permeates our world, to rise above the challenges life throws our way. It’s a conscious decision to seek the silver lining, to find hope in despair, and to cultivate resilience in the face of adversity.

Will we make mistakes? Certainly. That’s simply an inherent part of being human. Mistakes are woven into the fabric of our existence, and they serve as crucial learning opportunities. The difference now is that we recognize we are greater than our mistakes. We have the ability to learn from them, to grow, and to move forward with renewed determination. We can turn our negative experiences into positive ones, transforming pain into purpose.

I hope that your positive mindset stays with you throughout your life, guiding you through the inevitable ups and downs that we all face. May you find strength in your struggles and wisdom in your challenges, allowing them to shape you into the person you are meant to become.

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His Response

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PS. I shared what I wrote with my 16-year-old son, really wanting to know what he thought and felt about my personal and heartfelt words.

His reaction totally warmed my heart and made me proud.

“Omgggg mom I love you sooo frickin much. That was so cute and emotional, my jaw hurts because I’m trying not to cry

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What he said was more than just a compliment; it showed the close bond we have, which has only gotten stronger over time. It was really touching to see my writing connect with him, bringing out emotions he often finds hard to express. His genuine words and youthful spirit reminded me of our strong connection that goes beyond just words.

I told him it was totally fine to cry, just like I did. I wanted him to understand that emotions are important and nothing to be ashamed of. I explained how my tears were a way to let go, helping me deal with the feelings my writing stirred up. We both got that being vulnerable is okay. Moments like these show how crucial open communication is, creating a safe place to share our deepest thoughts without fear of being judged. I encouraged him to let his emotions out, as it respects our feelings and makes our relationship even stronger.

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Why All the Yelling

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Growing up, yelling was just part of everyday life in my family, leading to a lot of tension and conflict. My youngest sister picked up on this and would speak at a volume most people would consider yelling, mirroring our chaotic home life where loudness drowned out reason. Unfortunately, this pattern stuck with me into adulthood and affected my youngest son too. The constant yelling set the emotional tone in our house, often causing misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Everything shifted after a jail incident that made me face and change these inherited habits. I realized that yelling was both ineffective and harmful. Since then, I've been working on cutting it out, although I still slip up sometimes, which upsets my kids and reminds me of the past's impact and the need for a calmer environment.

The change in our home has been huge. I often think about how different things might have been if we had focused on calm communication while raising my kids. I wonder how much stronger and more resilient our relationships could have been without all the yelling. This thought stays with me, making me consider what could have been if we had chosen a different way to communicate.

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First Day Win

8/25/2025

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Today was the first day back at school for lots of kids in the US, including mine. I've got four kids heading back: my oldest son is starting 11th grade, my twins are off to 8th grade, and my youngest is doing 3rd grade at home since we homeschool. My oldest had an awesome day, and my youngest came back with some fun stories. I really treasure these moments because my boys usually chat more with their dad and stepdad. My daughter and I had a good talk about her day, and she opened up about what she's excited and nervous about in her last year of middle school. She knows she can tell me anything, and I'll always have her back without judging.

My husband and I are also coaching my 8-year-old's softball team. My daughter has been playing for a few seasons, and we took over coaching last year. Even though we hit a few bumps along the way, we wrapped up our third season with a fun party and some gifts. This year, we kicked off with 14 players and had our first optional practice, where we focused on drills and keeping things positive. The girls have really grown and are showing a lot more confidence.

I really value these times with my kids and the softball team because they bring so much joy and gratitude into my life. Watching them grow and do well is super rewarding, and it creates memories that last. Every day is a new chance for us to grow and connect, filling our lives with love and shared experiences.

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Technology Killed Everything

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I've held onto a bunch of stuff from my teenage years, especially from middle school. Yesterday, I showed my 13-year-old daughter all these things, and she was pretty shocked, often saying "ew" at my Hanson and Backstreet Boys stuff. Teen magazines were all the rage when I was younger, and my walls were covered in celebrity posters. I played with Barbies until I was 13, making up stories and using my bookcase as a house. I've kept my childhood things in good shape, but my oldest daughter lost a lot of her stuff after just a few play sessions and never got into Barbies. Kids today just don't have the imagination we did, since they've got cell phones and streaming. I showed my daughter a VHS tape, but I couldn't play it because I don't have a player, and she had no idea what it was.

Technology has really taken away some of the joy and imagination from people. My youngest daughter doesn't have a lot of tech gadgets. She's got a basic Kindle, and her TV time is limited. She plays outside and with toys, and she's super imaginative. I love listening to her play with dolls, unlike my other kids who have gadgets at their dad's place. We have two TVs, one for the Wii, Wii U, and PlayStation 2, and we play family games now and then. It's important to keep tech in check to stay grounded. I've got a few old Alexas for music and alarms but haven't set up Siri on my phone. I prefer to look things up myself.

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I’m Still Letting Her Down

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I decided to homeschool my daughter to give her a more tailored education that suits her needs and fits our family situation. Even though I’m doing my best, I sometimes feel like I'm not quite up to the task as her teacher. I'm dedicated to her learning, but I often wonder if I'm delivering the quality education she deserves. It's tough to keep her fully engaged—not because we lack resources, but because we both get distracted easily.

She often drifts off into her own thoughts during our sessions, which leads to moments where she's not really engaged. Our mutual tendency to get sidetracked makes it hard to stay focused on schoolwork. To tackle this, I'm thinking about setting up a structured yet flexible schedule with specific study times and breaks, plus some interactive activities to keep her interested.

I also realize how important it is to have a routine that includes socializing and physical activity. This might mean connecting with other homeschooling families or joining community activities. I'm committed to tweaking and improving our homeschooling setup, looking for resources and strategies to boost both my teaching and her learning experience. My aim is to create a balanced learning environment that encourages her love for learning while dealing with our distraction issues.

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 #PositiveParenting

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Books

• Everything A Kid Needs to Know Before They Are 16

• The Whole Brain Child

  
  

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Songs

• Billy Dean - “Let Them Be Little”

• Harry Chapin - “Cats in the Cradle”

• “You’ll be in my Heart”- Phil Collins

• “Flowers for Zoe” - Lenny Kravitz

• “Beautiful Boy”- John Lennon

• “Just the Two if Us”-Will Smith

• “Lullaby: Good Night My Angel” - Billy Joel

• “Glory”- JayZ

• “Butterfly Kisses”- Bob Carlisle

• “God Made You Beautiful” - Beyoncé

• “Ballerina Girl”- Lionel Richie

• “Little Star”- Madonna

• “Loving You”- Minnie Riperton

• “Only One”- Kanye West

• “There Goes My Life”- Kenny Chesney

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Movies/Shows/Documentaires

• Jack

• Sleeping Beauty

• Brave

• Everything, Everywhere, All at Once

• Till

• Little Women

• A Quiet Place

• This is 40

• I Don’t Know How She Does It

• Freaky Friday

• Freakier Friday

• Freaky Friday the Musical

• The Family Swap

• Finding Nemo

• Bad Moms

• The Incredibles

• Are We There Yet?

• What to Expect While You’re Expecting

• Room

• Fun Mom Dinner

• Motherhood

• Blockers

• The Little Rascals

• The Goldbergs

• Parenthood

• Single Parents

• Breeders

• Motherland

• The Let Down

• Raising Kids Who Thrive

• Modern Family

• Family Guy

• The Simpsons

• The Little Rascals

• Instant Family

• Baby’s Day Out

  
  

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Bible verses about children

• Mark 10:16 "And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them."

• Samual 1:27-28 "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him."

• Luke 18:15-17 “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”