Children 💝

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Let Them Grow up

Every caring parent recognizes the poignant moment when their "babies" are no longer small, when the fleeting years of childhood seem to dissolve before their very eyes. This transition is both a heartbreaking and wonderful feeling, a bittersweet blend of emotions that encompasses pride, nostalgia, and a touch of sadness. As you watch your children take those first tentative steps into the world outside the safety of home, you are filled with a profound sense of accomplishment and trepidation. You reflect on the countless hours spent nurturing, teaching, and guiding them, and you realize that this is the culmination of your efforts. You have imparted all your knowledge about navigating the vast world—a world that can be both beautiful and daunting. This realization gives you the confidence that they will flourish without you, equipped with the values and skills necessary to face life's challenges.

When you notice your "baby" growing into a remarkable young adult, it becomes increasingly evident that they are beginning to carve their own path, one that is uniquely theirs. You observe their interests evolving, their passions igniting, and their ambitions taking shape. Each milestone they achieve—whether it’s graduating from school, landing their first job, or making decisions that reflect their individuality—serves as a testament to the foundation you have built together. You see them embracing responsibilities, developing relationships, and making choices that indicate a maturity beyond their years. This transformation is not just a sign of their growth; it is also a reflection of your unwavering support and guidance throughout their formative years.

As a parent, you are sure that you have brought someone into the world who will spread joy, someone who possesses the innate ability to light up a room with their laughter and kindness. You recognize the qualities in them that will enable them to connect with others, to empathize, and to share happiness in ways that can uplift those around them. Their capacity for compassion and understanding reassures you that they will forge meaningful relationships and create lasting memories with friends and family alike.

Moreover, you are sure that you have brought someone into the world who will make a positive impact, someone who will contribute to society in ways that are both profound and far-reaching. Whether through their career choices, community involvement, or simply by being a beacon of positivity in their everyday interactions, you can envision them making a difference. Their commitment to values such as integrity, respect, and kindness will guide them as they navigate complex social landscapes, inspiring others to do the same. This realization fills you with pride, knowing that the lessons you instilled in them have taken root and will flourish as they step into their future.

That's when you realize you've accomplished something truly extraordinary. You have not only raised a child but nurtured a human being who is ready to take on the world with confidence and grace. This journey of parenthood, with all its ups and downs, has equipped them with the tools they need to thrive. Each moment spent together, each lesson learned, and each challenge faced has contributed to their growth, and in turn, has enriched your life immeasurably. As you stand back and observe them stepping into their own, you are filled with a profound sense of fulfillment, knowing that you have played a pivotal role in shaping the person they have become.

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The Lost Ones

In the past, I couldn't confidently say that about all my children. Each of them has their own unique personality, strengths, and challenges, which have influenced my feelings and perceptions over the years. I always had certainty about my youngest daughter. She has consistently demonstrated a remarkable sense of responsibility and maturity beyond her years. Her ability to navigate social situations with grace and empathy has given me immense pride and comfort as a parent. I have always felt that she would make wise choices and pursue her passions with dedication.

However, my feelings have varied regarding my youngest son and oldest daughter. My youngest son, while full of energy and creativity, often finds himself in situations where his impulsive nature can lead to misunderstandings or conflicts. I worry about his ability to channel his enthusiasm in a positive direction, and I sometimes find myself questioning whether he recognizes the potential consequences of his actions. It is a delicate balance between encouraging his adventurous spirit and guiding him toward making more thoughtful decisions.

Similarly, my oldest daughter has presented her own set of challenges. She possesses a strong will and an independent streak that can be both a blessing and a source of concern. While I admire her determination, there have been moments when her choices have left me feeling uncertain. I sometimes wonder if she fully grasps the implications of her decisions and how they might affect her future. The complexities of her teenage years have made it difficult for me to predict her path with confidence.

It was my oldest son who worried me the most. From an early age, he exhibited signs of rebellion and a tendency to push boundaries. I was particularly concerned about the possibility of him landing in jail, especially since he has already been in juvenile detention. This past experience has cast a long shadow over my hopes for his future, and I often find myself reflecting on the decisions that led him down that path. I fear that he might struggle to break free from the cycle of trouble that has occasionally defined his adolescence.

Moreover, I worry that he might get into trouble for speaking inappropriately at the wrong moment. His tendency to be outspoken and sometimes reckless with his words has made me anxious about how he interacts with authority figures and peers. I have seen how a single ill-timed comment can lead to serious repercussions, and I dread the thought of him facing consequences that could alter the course of his life. As a parent, it is my responsibility to guide him, but I often feel a sense of helplessness when I see him make choices that could jeopardize his future.

In summary, while I have a clear sense of confidence in my youngest daughter, my feelings regarding my other children have been more complex and layered. The challenges I face with my youngest son and oldest daughter, along with the deep concern I have for my oldest son, add to the intricate tapestry of parenting. Each day brings new opportunities for growth and understanding, and I continue to hope for the best outcomes for all my children as they navigate their own paths in life.

TLC - Waterfalls

I can honestly say that I'm no longer afraid of that. Over the course of time, I have come to a place of deep understanding and acceptance, and I am confident that he will be fine. I truly believe that he is on a path where he will not only thrive but also make a positive impact on the world around him. The journey we have taken together has been filled with challenges, but it has also illuminated his strengths and potential in ways I never anticipated.

If someone had told me a few years ago that I would be saying this now, I would have both laughed and cried at the same time. The thought of such a profound transformation seemed almost laughable to me back then, as I was entrenched in a mindset of doubt and fear. I was overwhelmed by the weight of uncertainty and the struggles we faced. To imagine that we would emerge from that darkness into a place of hope and possibility felt like an impossible dream.

I would have laughed, thinking, "Yeah, right!" Knowing my son as I did at that time, I couldn't fathom the idea that he could achieve such remarkable things. My perception was clouded by the difficulties we were navigating, and I underestimated his resilience and capacity for growth. That was my first mistake—assuming he couldn't do it. I allowed my fears to dictate my beliefs about his abilities, failing to see the potential that lay within him, waiting to be unlocked. It was a humbling realization that my doubts were a barrier, not only to my own peace of mind but also to his development.

I would have cried tears of joy, realizing that I wouldn't lose my child forever and that there was indeed a way to help him escape the hell he was living in. The thought of losing him to despair was unbearable, and the idea that there was hope for a brighter future felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I now understand that the journey to healing and growth is not linear; it is filled with ups and downs, but it is also rich with opportunities for learning and transformation. The support we found, the resources we accessed, and the love that surrounded us played a crucial role in guiding him toward a more fulfilling life. It is a testament to the power of perseverance and belief, not only in oneself but also in the potential of those we love. I am grateful for the lessons learned along the way, which have shaped not only my son’s journey but also my own understanding of hope and resilience.

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The Wicked Witch of the East

As I reflect on my life, a wave of self-loathing sometimes washes over me, particularly when I confront the reality that I played a significant role in the difficulties my son faced throughout his formative years. This painful realization hits me with the weight of a thousand regrets: I am the reason he never had the chance to experience a normal, carefree childhood. I often find myself wishing that I had shown him more love, more affection, and more understanding instead of the harsh criticism that became all too familiar. I wish I had embraced him wholeheartedly instead of keeping him at arm's length, creating a barrier that stifled his emotional growth. Instead of speaking to him gently, I resorted to shouting, diminishing his sense of worth and leaving scars that may last a lifetime.

In my misguided attempts to fulfill my role as a parent, I thought I was simply doing my duty. I believed that raising my voice and enforcing discipline were necessary measures to gain their attention and instill a sense of responsibility. I thought that by being authoritative, I was guiding them towards the right path. Yet, the reality I now see is starkly different. My actions, which I justified as tough love, often led to feelings of fear and resentment rather than respect and understanding. I failed to recognize that my approach was counterproductive, pushing my son further away instead of drawing him closer.

Breaking News! The unfortunate truth is that children often ignore the yelling. They disconnect emotionally from the very people who are supposed to nurture them. Instead of feeling motivated to improve, they start engaging in negative self-talk, internalizing the harsh words spoken to them, and begin to harm others as a misguided expression of the deep pain they feel inside. This cycle of negativity perpetuates itself, creating a chasm between parents and their children that can be incredibly difficult to bridge.

There have been countless moments when my husband would continue to raise his voice, going on and on while "yelling" at the kids. I would sit there, feeling a mix of frustration and helplessness, internally rolling my eyes and thinking, When is this going to end? He's just repeating himself over and over, and it's not making a difference. I could see the effect it had on our children, and yet I felt powerless to intervene, caught in a cycle of learned behavior that I had inherited.

My son often expressed his feelings to me in ways that I failed to comprehend fully at the time. He would say things like, "I might as well do what you're accusing me of since you already think I did it." Or he would lament, "I'm in trouble; I'm going to get in trouble anyway." In my ignorance, I used to mock him for those sentiments, dismissing his words as mere teenage rebellion. But looking back, I realize that he was voicing a painful truth about his perception of our family dynamics.

However, it was true! It was a harsh reflection of the reality I had created for him, a reality filled with judgment and disappointment. I had become just like my mother, the one person I vowed never to emulate. I had inadvertently mirrored the very behaviors that caused me pain in my own childhood.

I damaged my son's life just as she had damaged mine, and the weight of that truth is utterly devastating. As they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and in this case, the resemblance is painfully evident. The realization that I had become a source of hurt for my child, rather than a source of comfort and support, is a burden I carry with me daily.

Despite the darkness of these experiences, I hold onto a flicker of hope. I hope that all the terrible experiences he endured will stay with him throughout his life not as a source of bitterness but as a catalyst for change. Perhaps one day, he can become an advocate for misunderstood children facing similar challenges, using his voice to help others navigate the turbulent waters of childhood. I truly hope he does! I want him to follow in his mother's footsteps, not in the sense of repeating my mistakes, but in becoming a better version of what I could have been. I am proud of the person I have become and am continuing to become, and I want him to feel that same pride in himself.

All of this happened because we choose to remain positive. We choose to fight against the negativity that permeates our world, to rise above the challenges life throws our way. It’s a conscious decision to seek the silver lining, to find hope in despair, and to cultivate resilience in the face of adversity.

Will we make mistakes? Certainly. That’s simply an inherent part of being human. Mistakes are woven into the fabric of our existence, and they serve as crucial learning opportunities. The difference now is that we recognize we are greater than our mistakes. We have the ability to learn from them, to grow, and to move forward with renewed determination. We can turn our negative experiences into positive ones, transforming pain into purpose.

I hope that your positive mindset stays with you throughout your life, guiding you through the inevitable ups and downs that we all face. May you find strength in your struggles and wisdom in your challenges, allowing them to shape you into the person you are meant to become.

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His Response

PS. I showed what I wrote to my 16-year-old son, eager to hear his thoughts and feelings about my words, which were deeply personal and heartfelt.

This was his reaction, and it filled me with warmth and pride.

“Omgggg mom I love you sooo frickin much. That was so cute and emotional, my jaw hurts because I’m trying not to cry,” he exclaimed. His words were not just a casual compliment; they were a reflection of the bond we share, a bond that has grown and deepened over the years. It was heartwarming to see how my writing resonated with him on such a profound level, evoking emotions that he sometimes struggles to express. The sincerity in his voice, combined with the youthful exuberance that defined his teenage years, reminded me of the powerful connection we have, one that transcends mere words.

I told him it was okay to cry, just like I did. I wanted him to understand that emotions are not something to be ashamed of; they are a vital part of being human. I shared with him how my own tears were a release, a way to process the feelings that my writing had stirred up. In that moment, we shared a mutual understanding, a silent agreement that it’s perfectly acceptable to embrace vulnerability. It’s moments like these that remind me of how important it is to communicate openly with each other, to create a safe space where we can express our deepest thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. I encouraged him to let those emotions flow, to not hold back, because in doing so, we not only honor our feelings but also strengthen our relationship.

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Why All the Yelling

I grew up in a family environment where yelling was not just common; it was almost a daily norm. The sound of raised voices filled our home, creating an atmosphere that was often charged with tension and conflict. My youngest sister, who was the most affected by this environment, developed a way of communicating that was heavily influenced by the constant noise around her. As a result, her normal speaking volume was what most people would consider yelling. This was not just a quirk; it was a reflection of the chaotic home life we experienced, where volume often drowned out reason and calm discussion.

Regrettably, this pattern of communication did not end with my childhood. My youngest son, too, found himself in a similar situation for a considerable part of his early life. The constant yelling that echoed through our home became a backdrop to his formative years. It was as if the volume of our voices dictated the emotional temperature of our household, and unfortunately, that temperature was often set to a boiling point. The absurdity of it all was not lost on me; I recognized how ridiculous it was that we resorted to shouting as a means of expression, often leading to misunderstandings and hurt feelings rather than constructive dialogue.

However, everything changed dramatically after the jail incident. It served as a wake-up call for me, forcing me to confront the patterns of behavior I had inherited and perpetuated. I learned that yelling was not an effective means of communication and that it often led to more harm than good. Since that pivotal moment, I have made a conscious effort to stop yelling. Now, when I do occasionally raise my voice out of frustration, it is met with immediate and visible distress from my children. Their upset reactions serve as a powerful reminder of how deeply the past has impacted them and how crucial it is for me to foster a more peaceful environment.

It is truly incredible how much life can change in such a short time. The transformation in our household dynamics has been profound. I find myself reflecting on the earlier years when yelling was the primary mode of interaction. I often wonder how different things might have been if there had been a greater emphasis on calm communication and understanding during my children’s upbringing. Perhaps if there hadn’t been yelling in our house while they were growing up, the relationships we share today would be even stronger and more resilient. The thought lingers in my mind, leaving me to ponder the myriad possibilities that could have unfolded had we embraced a different approach to communication. Who knows how our lives might have evolved differently?

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First Day Win

8/25/2025

In much of the US, today marked the return to school for many children. For me, four of my kids went back to school. My eldest son started 11th grade, my twins entered 8th grade, and my youngest began 3rd grade (my husband and I homeschool our youngest). The order is boy, boy (2 minutes later), girl, girl. My oldest mentioned he had a fantastic day, which is exactly what I've always hoped to hear! My youngest son shared a few stories with us 🎉

When it comes to my boys, I treasure every bit of information they share with me because they don't talk to me much. They communicate more with their dad and stepdad, while I'm just mom. I understand that boys often relate more to their dads, and vice versa. That's why any opportunity to hear about their days is precious. My daughter (his twin), my husband, and I were discussing his day with him. My daughter was also sharing about her day. This year, for the first time since 1st grade, they don't have any classes together. She was midway through a sentence when he abruptly left the room. She was like, okay, I wasn't just talking to you. He returned, and we were all puzzled, thinking we were having a conversation. He said, nope, the conversation is over, and he's going up to his room. Just like that, it was over almost as soon as it began. But I still appreciated the little I got from him.

One of the highlights of my day today was having the opportunity to sit and listen to what's happening in my 13-year-old daughter's life. She shared details about her entire day, her individual classes, and her anxieties about entering her final year of middle school. I cherished the fact that she felt at ease discussing everything with me. She understands that I will never judge her and will always support her. She also knows I will guide her if she starts to stray, though that's rarely been necessary.

My husband and I coach our 8 year olds soft ball team. My daughter has played three seasons already and one year of baseball. The first year of softball I was the assistant coach though the coach was just not very good and left us right before the last game because his daughter was sick and couldn’t make the last game so he couldn’t either. Which left my with everything. Last year was the first year my daughter even got an end of season party. The second year another couple coached. They were ok, though they never really taught them the game. So last year my husband and I just took over the team completely.

We started with 13 girls, but three departed before the first game, and another left midway through the season. We had to forfeit a game because of low attendance. Despite this, we finished our third softball season. I arranged a wonderful end-of-year party at a local pizza place. My assistant coach brought trophies, and the parents and I purchased softball gift bags. The assistant coach and I paid for the food and drinks. The girls had a fantastic time and experienced a lot of love and camaraderie. They demonstrated significant growth over the last season.

This year, our team begins with 14 members. Tonight marked our first unofficial practice, which I made optional since it was the first day of school. We had a total of six participants, including my daughter. Among them, three were newcomers, two had played one season, and of course, there's my daughter, whom you already know. They all did wonderfully tonight. My husband and I don't just focus on scrimmage activities like previous coaches have. We incorporate stretches, running, drills, and scrimmages, which helps them become well-rounded. We identify their strengths and focus on honing them. I don't mind that they are only 7-9 years old; the foundation starts now! I also emphasize positivity. I work on their stances and weaknesses while allowing their strengths to shine. In just this one-hour practice, I saw so much confidence and ability, even in the three who just started. It was an amazing sight to behold.

These are the days and moments I cherish deeply, moments that fill my heart with joy and gratitude. Witnessing my children delight in their surroundings brings an unparalleled sense of fulfillment. Each laugh, each spark of curiosity in their eyes as they explore the world around them, is a reminder of the beauty of childhood and the innocence that comes with it. Whether it's the way they marvel at the vibrant colors of a blooming flower or the excitement they express when discovering a new playground, these experiences are precious treasures that I hold close to my heart.

In addition to my children's adventures, I find immense joy in observing our softball girls excel and develop. Watching them grow not just as athletes but as individuals is a remarkable journey. Each practice session and game is filled with moments of determination, teamwork, and resilience. I admire their dedication as they hone their skills, learning the importance of hard work and perseverance. The thrill of seeing them hit a home run or make a spectacular catch is exhilarating, but it is equally rewarding to witness their camaraderie and support for one another, which fosters a sense of community among the girls.

These experiences, both with my children and our softball team, are more than just fleeting moments; they are the building blocks of cherished memories that I will carry with me for a lifetime, and I hope they do as well. Each day presents new opportunities for growth and connection, and I am grateful for the chance to be a part of these incredible journeys. Whether it’s the laughter shared during a family picnic or the cheers from the sidelines at a game, these moments are woven into the fabric of our lives, creating a rich tapestry of love, joy, and shared experiences.

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Technology Killed Everything

It's amusing how I've kept a lot of my belongings from my teenage years, particularly from middle school. Yesterday, I showed my 13-year-old daughter these items, and she was quite surprised. She repeatedly said "ew" when I showed her my Hanson and Backstreet Boys memorabilia. Teen magazines were all the rage when I was young, and my walls were covered in posters of celebrities. I can't even count the number of times I "made out" with those posters or the conversations I imagined having. I played with Barbies until I was 13, creating fantastic stories and building amazing houses with whatever I had. My bookcase served as a three-story house. I've preserved all my childhood belongings so well because I took great care of them. I tried to get my eldest daughter to play with those and my old Polly Pockets. I still had all the tiny pieces, and everything was in its place. However, my oldest daughter lost half of the tiny pieces after just a few play sessions. She never got into Barbies, no matter how often I tried to engage her. Kids today don't seem to have the same kind of imagination we had. We had to be imaginative since we didn't have cell phones or streaming. I showed my 13-year-old a VHS tape, but unfortunately, I couldn't play it because I don't have a VHS player. She was puzzled by it and didn't even know what it was 🤦🏻‍♀️.

Unfortunately, technology has not only taken away people's joy but also their imagination. I haven't given my youngest daughter the technological luxuries that most kids enjoy. Don't get me wrong—she has a tablet, but it's just a simple kids' Kindle, so it's quite limited. We allow her to watch TV, but that's also restricted. She spends a lot of time outside and playing with her toys in her room. She's one of the few kids I know with such a wonderful imagination. Sometimes, I sit by her door and listen to her play with her Barbies or dolls. It fills me with happiness that at least one of my kids can experience this. My other three children have all the latest gadgets at their dad's house and TVs in their rooms. In my house, we have two TVs, and one only plays Wii, Wii U, and PlayStation 2. We occasionally play family games together. It's crucial to reduce the amount of technology around us. If we're not careful, people might truly lose touch with reality, and they're already getting dangerously close to that. I have a few old Alexas in my house, and half of them don't work anymore. We mostly use them for music or as alarms/timers. I've never set up Siri on my phone because I find it lazy. I can look things up myself.

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I’m Still Letting Her Down

I made the significant decision to withdraw my daughter from her traditional school environment in order to homeschool her, believing that this path would provide her with a more personalized and tailored educational experience. This choice was not made lightly; it involved careful consideration of her needs, our family's circumstances, and the potential benefits of a homeschooling approach. However, despite my intentions and efforts to facilitate her learning journey, I find myself grappling with feelings of inadequacy in my role as her educator.

While I do not perceive myself as failing in my responsibilities as a parent, I do feel that I am struggling in the capacity of a teacher. My commitment to her education is unwavering, yet I often question whether I am delivering the quality of instruction that she deserves. It's not that I lack knowledge or resources; rather, I find it challenging to engage her in a way that fully captures her attention and enthusiasm for learning.

One of the most pressing issues we face is the amount of time she spends alone during our homeschooling sessions. I often notice that she becomes absorbed in her own thoughts or activities, leading to extended periods where she is not actively engaged in her studies. This tendency to withdraw into her own world is reminiscent of my own experiences, as I too can become easily distracted. The challenge arises when two individuals who share this trait attempt to collaborate on educational tasks. Our mutual propensity for distraction often results in a lack of focus, making it difficult to accomplish our learning objectives effectively.

In light of these challenges, I have been reflecting on the importance of creating a structured yet flexible learning environment that fosters engagement and minimizes distractions. This could involve setting specific times for focused study, interspersed with breaks that allow her to recharge and refocus. Additionally, I am considering incorporating more interactive and hands-on activities that might capture her interest more effectively than traditional worksheets or lectures.

Furthermore, I recognize the value of establishing a routine that includes not only academic work but also opportunities for social interaction and physical activity. Engaging with other homeschooling families or participating in community activities could provide her with the socialization that is often a concern for homeschooled children.

Overall, while I am committed to this homeschooling journey, I acknowledge that it requires continuous adaptation and improvement. I am learning to embrace the process and to seek out resources, support, and strategies that will enhance both my teaching effectiveness and my daughter's learning experience. By doing so, I hope to create a more balanced and fulfilling educational environment that nurtures her love for learning while also addressing our shared challenges with distraction.

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 #PositiveParenting

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Books

• Everything A Kid Needs to Know Before They Are 16

• The Whole Brain Child

  
  

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Songs

• Billy Dean - “Let Them Be Little”

• Harry Chapin - “Cats in the Cradle”

• “You’ll be in my Heart”- Phil Collins

• “Flowers for Zoe” - Lenny Kravitz

• “Beautiful Boy”- John Lennon

• “Just the Two if Us”-Will Smith

• “Lullaby: Good Night My Angel” - Billy Joel

• “Glory”- JayZ

• “Butterfly Kisses”- Bob Carlisle

• “God Made You Beautiful” - Beyoncé

• “Ballerina Girl”- Lionel Richie

• “Little Star”- Madonna

• “Loving You”- Minnie Riperton

• “Only One”- Kanye West

• “There Goes My Life”- Kenny Chesney

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Movies/Shows/Documentaires

• Jack

• Sleeping Beauty

• Brave

• Everything, Everywhere, All at Once

• Till

• Little Women

• A Quiet Place

• This is 40

• I Don’t Know How She Does It

• Freaky Friday

• Freakier Friday

• Freaky Friday the Musical

• The Family Swap

• Finding Nemo

• Bad Moms

• The Incredibles

• Are We There Yet?

• What to Expect While You’re Expecting

• Room

• Fun Mom Dinner

• Motherhood

• Blockers

• The Little Rascals

• The Goldbergs

• Parenthood

• Single Parents

• Breeders

• Motherland

• The Let Down

• Raising Kids Who Thrive

• Modern Family

• Family Guy

• The Simpsons

• The Little Rascals

• Instant Family

• Baby’s Day Out

  
  

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Bible verses about children

• Mark 10:16 "And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them."

• Samual 1:27-28 "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him."

• Luke 18:15-17 “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”