Bullies

Aug 5, 2025
12 min read

Updated: Feb 18

Bullies are the 👿

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What is considered being a bully?

Bullying can show up in different ways: physical, verbal, social, and online. It's when someone with more power keeps picking on or threatening someone else, causing them emotional or physical pain. This often makes the person being bullied feel scared and helpless.

Bullying can be as simple as name-calling and spreading rumors or as serious as physical attacks and leaving someone out on purpose. It creates a toxic atmosphere that messes with mental and emotional well-being. Spotting bullying is key to tackling it in schools, workplaces, and communities, and building a culture ready to fight back.

This post will share personal stories about bullying to show how it affects both the victim and the bully. Bullying can leave deep emotional scars, messing with self-esteem, relationships, and mental health, and sometimes leading to anxiety and depression.

It's super important to spot signs of bullying and create a vibe of empathy, kindness, and respect. This takes teamwork from students, teachers, parents, and community members to boost understanding and compassion. By talking about bullying's effects and encouraging people to speak up, we can work towards a future where everyone feels safe and valued, breaking the cycle of abuse and promoting inclusivity and respect.

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My Children Will NOT be Bullies

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I'm really concerned about bullying and would be pretty upset if my kid got tangled up in it. It's super important to me to teach my kids about compassion, empathy, and respect because these values are key to a peaceful society. Luckily, we haven't faced many issues, probably because we talk openly about how serious this behavior is, which helps keep it in check. I make it clear that bullying is a big breach of trust and morals, and it should have firm consequences.

Accountability is super important for personal growth, so I try to make sure my kids feel comfortable sharing their thoughts. They need to get how their actions can impact others, especially those who might be more vulnerable. By encouraging empathy and sharing stories about people who've been bullied, I hope to inspire kindness and understanding. Dealing with bullying is something we all need to be involved in—parents, teachers, and the whole community. This means having chats in schools, supporting anti-bullying programs, and encouraging kids to look out for each other. We want to build a culture of diversity and inclusivity where every child feels valued and respected.

I can't decide if it's a good thing or not, but my oldest son has been suspended from school a few times for fighting. Usually, it's because he's standing up for kids who are getting bullied. I love that he's defending them, but we're still trying to figure out a way for him to do it without getting suspended. It's a work in progress.

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Bullying isn’t a New Age Thing

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When I was a kid, I got bullied a lot, and those memories still stick with me. I can remember incidents from almost every grade, each one a painful reminder of what I went through. The teasing, being left out, and feeling lonely were always there. Now, when my kids talk about bullying, I really get it, seeing the cycle and thinking of others who went through the same stuff.

I want to create a supportive community where people can share their bullying stories. It's so important for those who've been bullied to know they're not alone. By sharing our experiences, we can break the silence and stigma around bullying and offer comfort to those affected. Hopefully, both past and present bullies will read these stories to understand the emotional scars and the impact on mental health, helping to build empathy and awareness. These stories highlight why kindness and compassion matter so much.

## First grade. The asshole story.

Back in first grade, amidst the usual school chaos, a girl and I got into a silly argument over who should be first in line or what game to play, I honestly don’t even remember. At that age, small disagreements felt like a big deal. Annoyed by her attitude, I impulsively wrote her a note calling her an "asshole," thinking it would make me feel better. She showed it to our teacher, who instantly looked serious. My heart dropped as I realized I was in trouble.

The teacher told the principal, and I felt doomed as I walked to the principal's office. The principal, known for being strict, called my mom, and I was more scared of her reaction than any punishment from school. My mom had high standards and didn't tolerate disrespect.

The note cast a shadow over my day, teaching me that actions have consequences. When I got home, I sure did get a spanking for it.

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## Forth grade: The Family Dynamic Game

Back in fourth grade, there was this group of girls everyone called the "beautiful" girls, and they were a big deal, even to those of us not in their crew. They had this charm and magnetism that made them the center of attention, forming a tight-knit and influential group that really shaped how things went in class. They'd play these family roles, calling each other daughter, sister, or auntie, which showed how close they were. The closer you were, the cooler the title you got.

Watching them, you could see they had this warm, welcoming vibe, but they were also super exclusive. "Auntie" was what they called people who weren't quite in the inner circle. Curious about how their group worked, I finally got the nerve to ask if I could join. Their answer was a letdown; they called me "grandma," which was a pretty clear way of saying I wasn't really part of the group. That label felt like a rejection, showing I wasn't truly welcome with them.

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## Fourth grade: Always the One Left Out

Halfway through fourth grade, I switched schools, and it was way harder than I thought it would be. At the new place, I had a tough time fitting in with kids who'd been friends since kindergarten. I felt like the odd one out, lonely and isolated as the "new kid." The cliques made me feel invisible, and I often wished I could be part of their group. Lunchtime was the worst; I'd sit alone, pretending to be busy but really just wanting to connect with someone.

One moment really sticks out, showing how frustrated and desperate I was. In class, feeling overwhelmed, I pressed the metal rings of my notebook into my arm, trying to show how much I was hurting and needed attention. I ended up shouting in anger, feeling exposed and misunderstood by my classmates, who probably just thought I was acting out instead of realizing I was asking for help. Surprisingly, I don't remember getting into major trouble at home for this incident, unlike other times when I was punished for acting out. Maybe my mom was too busy to notice how I was feeling, or she more than likely didn’t care.

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## A Field Trip to Remember

So, my classmates and I were on this field trip that was supposed to be all fun and exciting. The sun was out, everyone was laughing as we strolled through Jamestown. But I couldn't shake this feeling of being left out, which kind of ruined the fun for me. I saw them (the girls from the previous story) up ahead, they were all holding hands, walking in a row. I was walking in the back next to one of the chaperones. Trying to cope, I blurted out, “What are they, gay or something?” and immediately wished I hadn't. That chaperone told my teacher, and before I knew it, I was in the principal's office when we got back to school.

Sitting there, I felt tiny and helpless. When they asked about what I said, I lied, hoping to get out of it. The punishment was tough and left a mark on me. When I got home, my mom was furious. She spanked me so hard on my bare butt, she cut me with her ring, and I felt really exposed and vulnerable, as she left me lying there bleeding. She was upset about what I said and that I lied about it, not about how I was feeling that caused me to say that. I was only in fourth grade.

I ended up feeling alone and misunderstood, all because I was left out by these girls, and my mom didn’t care that I was hurting, emotionally and physically. This tough experience taught me a lot about friendship, acceptance, and how important words are.

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## 10th Grade: The New Girl

The summer between 9th and 10th grade was a big deal for me because I moved from a busy big city with 12 high schools to a small town with just one high school. It was a huge change, and I really noticed how different everything was, from the lifestyle to the social scene. At first, being the "new girl" was exciting, but I also felt pressure to fit in. As time went on, the excitement faded, and I started to feel left out. During this time, I met a girl who was super pretty and had an amazing personality. She was brand new, so I was no longer “the new girl”. We clicked because we were both new in a school where everyone grew up together, and her popularity helped me climb the social ladder. I even started dating a guy from the baseball team, which made me feel more accepted. But things went south with my friend after an adventure that we had during school hours, and that was the beginning of the end of our short friendship.

One day, she came up with the idea of skipping school to visit her uncle, who had some booze. Craving a bit of adventure and wanting to keep our friendship strong, I decided to go along. The rush of breaking the rules was pretty exciting, and we planned to sneak back just before lunch so we wouldn't get caught. On our way to his place, we bumped into a senior. He was cute, but I already had a boyfriend. She talked him into joining us, which made the day even more thrilling. We kept our little adventure under wraps, even from my boyfriend, which stirred up some unexpected drama later. This whole experience taught me that making impulsive choices when you're young can lead to some surprising and tough situations.

The walk to her uncle’s place was faster than I expected—just a few blocks away. Her uncle's house was pretty simple, with old furniture and a stash of grain alcohol that caught my attention. Feeling a mix of nerves and curiosity, I tried alcohol for the first time and chased the burn with Doritos. I quickly realized I’d overdone it. We ended up playing truth or dare, where I admitted I was a virgin. A dare put me in a situation I wasn’t ready for, leaving me feeling regretful and ashamed. This was my first time drinking alcohol, and let me tell you, grain alcohol is strong. I was wasted, though I didn’t realize it at the time.

This is where things took a turn for the worse. The guy who was with us dared her and me to head to the bathroom and have some girl-on-girl fun. We went for it, and sure enough, halfway through, he barged in to check if we were actually doing it so he could brag to his friends.

After we finished, we went back to the living room. That's when she dared me to hook up with this guy. I didn't want to—I was a virgin and wanted to wait for someone I loved. But before I met her, I was seen as a loser, and saying no would have put me right back in that category, which is definitely not cool in 10th grade. Luckily, her uncle had a condom in his nightstand, so there was that. It was terrible! And, of course, she walked in on us to make sure it was happening, and then she told everyone about it later.

Back at school, my boyfriend picked up on the booze smell on me. I told him we just went to her uncle's, got drunk, and then came back. The girl I was with didn’t hold back and was chatting about our wild morning during the class right before lunch (he didn’t share that class with us). I was just lying there with my head down, trying to stay under the radar. Little did I know, while she was blabbing to anyone who'd listen, our teacher was calling the front office. Right before lunch, they came in and took us to the office, where they gave us a breathalyzer. That earned us a two-week suspension from school. It was a harsh wake-up call about our bad choices.

Stuck in my room for the whole two weeks, I ended up diving into reading and writing poetry to figure out my emotions. Meanwhile, the other girl wasn't grounded and spent her two weeks off spreading rumors that ruined my reputation. When I got back to school, I found out I'd lost the few "friends" I had and my boyfriend. She even locked me out of my locker, which I let her share because she didn't have one at first.

Luckily, that happened at the end of 10th grade, so I had summer to look forward to. I guess over the summer, she showed her true colors to everyone in our small town. By the time 11th grade rolled around, people saw what she was really like, and some even apologized to me when we got back to school.

Even though I didn't reconnect with my old friends, I made new ones who accepted me. The rest of my school time was calmer (somewhat), but the whole experience left some emotional marks. Thinking back on those weeks, I'm grateful for the resilience I developed and how poetry helped me get through it. Despite everything, I'm stronger now and appreciate the lessons I learned.

## A Reflection on Choices and Consequences

It's kinda wild how things turned out for two of the girls from my 4th grade class and the one from 10th grade. All three became young moms, and two ended up working as strippers. Even though it was a choice that raised some eyebrows, it was really about surviving and finding a way to express themselves in a world that didn't offer them many options. Their stories highlight how early decisions can lead to some unexpected paths.

One of the girls had a baby while she was still in high school, juggling the challenges of being a mom with her schoolwork. Even though being a young mom was hard and sometimes felt isolating, she stayed strong and determined, working hard to create a better future for herself and her child.

The other two girls had a similar experience, becoming young moms with two kids before turning twenty. They both chose to start stripping to support their families since they were facing money issues and wanted to provide a better life for their kids.

These stories show us that life can get pretty messy, and the choices people make are shaped by their own circumstances. Instead of judging, let's try to understand what they're going through and appreciate their strength in handling tough situations.

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Role of Bullies

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Bullies often try to take over social situations, thinking it makes them look cooler, but it's usually just a way to cover up their own insecurities. They might feel powerful for a while, but bullying often leaves them feeling lonely, anxious, and regretful, stuck in a cycle of trying to regain lost status. On the other hand, people who get bullied often become tougher and more empathetic, which helps them grow and understand themselves and others better. They often turn into advocates for kindness and build supportive communities. These experiences show how tricky growing up can be and why empathy is so important, reminding us that every interaction shapes who we are. It's crucial to create spaces for open conversations and understanding to build a more inclusive society.

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Lists

Books 📚

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Songs 🎶

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Movies/Shows/Documentaries 🎥

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Bible verses about bullies 🙏

1 John 2:9 - Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness.
1 John 2:10
1 John 3:15 - Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.
1 John 3:16
Ephesians 4: 22-24
Ephesians 4: 29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.