Another Failure Will Not Stop Me

Today I found out that I didn’t get the job I very much wanted. I had an interview with them on Tuesday morning. I honestly thought when I walked out of that door that I got the job.

The way she was talking to me made me think that I got it. She was saying “when” this and “when” that. Not if. She said I’d get an email from the same lady who set up my interview, going over the onboarding process. She told me that I was exactly what they were looking for.

So, if I was "exactly what they were looking for," what happened?

I'm a damn good nurse. I will definitely toot my own horn when it comes to that because I LOVE being a nurse, and I especially love being a hospice nurse. Not many people can say that. It shouldn’t be hard to get a job as a hospice nurse because I know how few people want to be a hospice nurse. It is definitely not an easy job, and it takes someone who is meant for hospice to work in that field. Yet, for some reason, I’m having a hard time getting another job. It’s even crazier because I live in a massive city with other massive cities all around me, yet I still can’t get hired.

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Hmmm… What Could it Be?

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So, it got me thinking: what is it that is preventing me from getting another job?

One: I’m a PRN nurse, which means “as needed,” but in nursing, PRN nurses are always able to stay busy because we are so short on nurses everywhere. So, that part should never be an issue, especially considering the fact that as a PRN nurse, I don’t need the benefits. But I also have only select days and times I can work due to my husband's crazy work schedule and homeschooling our daughter.

Two: Now, this is the one I have a very bad feeling about that is causing the problem—my writing.

You're probably thinking, how the heck does my writing have anything to do with me getting a job as a nurse? If you are thinking that, well, then I'd say that is an excellent question.

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The Beginning

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I was working at the best job I’ve ever had. Even when people talked badly about my company, I’d defend them because I just loved them so much.

Honestly, after almost two years of being there, I thought they felt the same about me. But I learned the hard way that wasn’t true.

I was extremely loyal to them, and I was also very loyal to the facility that I went to through my company for almost 2 years. I didn’t work for this specific facility; I worked for the hospice company that went there.

When I started at this company, we had about 5-6 patients at a time at this facility. Apparently, not long before I started working there, they had a fallout with this facility because the after-hours phone didn’t flip over for some reason, and a patient passed away. They were unable to get ahold of anyone from my old company to come.

When I started, there were other hospice companies coming into that facility. Eventually, they stopped taking other hospice companies and only stuck with ours. The main nurse of the facility, the chaplain, the marketer, the social workers, and I worked together to build a good rapport with them. The patients loved us, and so did all the family members. I thought the staff there did as well.

We went from 5–6 patients at a time there to between 14–17.

My daughter and I loved going in when I wasn’t there working to hang out with the residents. They loved having my daughter there, and my daughter loved all the attention she got—what kid wouldn’t? Even the family members loved having us there.

I seriously just enjoyed being there. Talking to the people who worked there, talking to the family members, and to those residents who could talk..

Like I said, this went on for almost two years. I went there weekly (unless I was out of town), usually two to three days a week for 2-6 hours a day.

Then one day, right after I came back from a two-week vacation, I got a call from my old company stating that this facility didn’t want me coming anymore, with the only explanation being that someone called and said, “I cried when I had to take a band-aid off a patient.” First of all, that was months and months prior to this occurrence, and second, it had nothing to do with the fact that I had to take a band-aid off someone and everything to do with the pain I was inflicting on this person by trying to take it off. The band-aid was very stuck on her, probably having been there for too long. It pulled skin and other stuff off with it. Can you even imagine how painful that is? Well, I’m not sorry for crying because I caused someone pain; that’s who I am, and I will never apologize for that. So if that’s really the reason they don’t want me there after almost two years, then just wow. 🤯

I was so confused about what was really going on. I thought I had a great rapport with the people at this facility. I just knew there was some kind of misunderstanding, a mistake. I contacted the one I was closest with there. She seemed completely flabbergasted when I talked to her on the phone. And yes, I was upset and was crying because this place meant a lot to me, and I was so taken aback by this, especially with such a poor reason for it. I honestly thought there had to be some kind of mistake. There is no way, after all the time, love, and energy I put into this place, that they would ask my daughter and me to stop coming because I cried due to causing someone pain. No way, there just had to be another reason.

So, she said that she knew nothing about it, along with the person in charge of the building. Yet, she never offered to make things better and fix this terrible mistake. At that point, I knew something was off. I ended up just telling her to forget it, forget I even said anything.

That was a big ask, apparently. I got another phone call from my old company the following day telling me how unprofessional I was for calling someone from the facility, and crying to them on the phone. 🤯🤔

Well, I got my answer as to who got me fired. But the question was still why? What the heck did I ever do to deserve this? I’ve only ever been loving and faithful to both companies. That question I still do not know the answer to, and I never will.

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Now I Get It (But Not Really)

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The day my company fired me was the day I found out what had actually happened.

This website is what happened!!

The sad part is that my entire website is very positive and loving. I have never talked badly about anyone.

What I have done is tell some of my stories about being a nurse. There is nothing in any regulations that says we nurses can’t tell our stories. What it does say is that we can’t use any personally identifiable information, such as names, locations, and even pictures. Which, by the way, I have never done, because I’m not stupid. I know the rules. The pictures I did post where bleeped out everywhere so you wouldn’t be able to tell who is who.

My old boss, whom I absolutely adored, said the only reason she wasn’t going to report me to the board of nursing was because they wouldn’t do anything since I didn’t use any personal identification information (PII).

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Hindsight is 20/20

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But... even knowing it’s what caused me to lose my favorite job. Even knowing it’s causing me to lose future jobs. Even knowing that I’ve spent thousands of dollars on my website, on sharing my stories, and I won’t get any money in return from it. Even knowing all of that, I’d still share my stories. Because they need to be told.

I have failed at a lot of things in my life, but one thing I refuse to fail at is being the voice for those who can’t do it for themselves. I will forever do that. I will forever advocate for all patients. And you know what? Every single person on this Earth is a potential patient because something can happen to anyone at any time. So, I’m fighting for the voice of every person that ever had to use, and will have to use, medical care, whether it’s mental or physical health care.

I will also fight for all of my fellow health care workers because they are the ones that are struggling the most. The long crazy hours, the disrespect from patients, families, and companies just for trying to do their job the best they can. It’s not like it’s easy when you don’t always have the support you need, and the resources.

Support from the company's staff (management) and support from the population using medical care are crucial. At this rate, it is an extremely losing battle on both ends.

I have lost a few jobs for advocating for my patients, and I would do it again, over and over. Actually, I will continue to advocate for them; someone has to. When I needed a patient advocate, there was someone there for me, and I don’t know what I would have done without her. Patient/medicare care provider advocacy is so needed.

I will continue to tell my stories, and I hope you continue to read them and help advocate as well by sharing my stories with the world so people know what’s going on behind closed doors.