Poems From Younger Me

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Amazing

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Written at the end of 2005

It’s amazing how one person can change your entire life

Can take away all your sorrow and your strife

You wake up every day with a smile on your face

Because now you know your true place

It’s amazing how one person can change the span of time

You wake up every morning knowing everything is going to be fine

As you slip out of your dream world and you realize

That the person lying next to you is the reason you’re alive

It’s amazing how one person can change your mind about love

Showing you there’s someone you can be a part of

As you give yourself to that person knowing you are gone forever

Though never wanting yourself back whatsoever

It’s amazing that I found that one person in you

One day I want to hear the words “I do“

And live a lifetime in your heart

Never to be torn apart

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Guilt Trip

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Written Mar 3, 2005

As the bridges crumble down around

All you can here is the sound

Of the pieces shattering around your feet

As your life starts to end in the heat

You slip through the sand that runs through your veins

As you realize nothing will ever be the same

The blood seeps down as it tickles the guilt

From the values that you learned and built

As the emptiness within starts to unfold

You reach out in front of you, but there’s nothing to hold

You fall through the cracks of an endless dream

Nothing is ever the way it seems

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Last Apologies

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Written in 12th grade, Spring 2004

As the days go by, I sit here and cry, and wonder why I’m still alive

As the blood falls down from the deep slits on my wrist, it seems to me I no longer exist

The only love I have ever known is gone before my eyes, because of my attitude and the silly little lies

I want to change for myself and for him, but this black hole is growing deeper within

As the walls cave in around my head, I wonder if I’m already dead

Dead to the people that matter the most, dead to the feelings I want to expose

If I had the willpower to do it this time, I would take my life in a way that can’t be refined

The only thing that is keeping me alive, is this love that I hold inside, a love that is hard to hide

I want to apologize one last time, I hope it’s not too late to make you mine

I’m sorry for telling you what to do, and that the jealousy was so clear

I'm sorry for not knowing what to do, and living in constant fear

I’m sorry I embarrassed you along the way, there is so much more I need to say

I'll back up and give you time; all I ask is that you keep me in mind

It's time for the thanks that I think you need: thanks for being there for me, please don’t leave

Give me time to prove I was wrong, and show you that I’d like to belong

Belong to you from the inside out, belong to you without a doubt.

I know I’ve been acting like a child, I realize that now, please let me make it up to you some way, somehow

I want to sleep next to you every night, and go a lifetime without a fight

I know it was me that started the fights, but give me a chance to make things right

Even if it takes a lifetime to make it up to you, I’ll do what ever it is that I have to do

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This isn’t the End

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Written Dec 3rd, 2005

One day you will wake up and your life will end

Wondering to yourself, “when did it even begin”?

You leave behind many loved ones in your wake

As they all cry from the heartache

You say one last prayer for the ones you love

As your soul starts to be swept above

Where to now? To the land of the unknown

To a place where you hope to not be alone

You look down on Earth and see the mourners mourn

You want them to know that you have been reborn

You are happy where you are and you will watch over them

You want them to know that this isn’t the end

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Shattered

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Written Aug 27th, 2010

The storm is moving quickly over the horizon, coming toward me like a demon ready to attack

I try to run and hide, but I’m locked in a state of frozen awareness

Deep inside, I hear myself yelling: get away, danger approaches

But my legs refuse to move, and the storm hits me head-on with brutal force

As the storm swirls around me, my insides start to shatter from the pressure surrounding me

I'm at a point where I can't see a way to make them come back together again

My world is falling apart right before my eyes, and there is nothing I can do to stop it

I can only wait for this storm to pass, to try to put them back together again.

The wait is unbearable, as I wonder what the future will bring

Will it get better when all is said and done, or will it get worse?

Only time will tell what the outcome will be

Until then, I need to stay strong, keep things together, until the sun comes back to me

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The Light

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Written for Jesus during summer of 2003

It’s so dark and cold

In this black, evil cell

I need something to hold

A love I can tell

I searched everywhere

Yet found not a thing

Nobody to care

I was lost in the rain

Then a light shined

From somewhere out there

Someone so kind

Someone to care

His love is so strong

I do not know why

Nothing can go wrong

With him by my side