Poems From 10th Grade Me

Looking back on my life, I realize just how big a role writing has played. Whether it was short stories in elementary school, books filled with letters between me and my friends in middle school, or poems in high school, writing has always helped me through different phases.

I just stumbled across my old high school poems. You know, back when everything felt super dramatic and it seemed like the world was ending at every turn. These poems are a bit over the top, but hey, so was high school me.

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And So The Poems Start

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Spring 2002

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The Dragon

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There he is, the dragon, look at him fly

I feel him near, he melts me inside

He feels the fear, and takes my pride

He took everything I treasure and hid them inside

How do I find them? Where do I look?

What will I see, how will I cope?

I see many skeletons, and so many hearts

I see me sitting there alone in the dark

Where do I go? Where will I hide?

He has already wounded me and left me to die

I sit there and weep and pout and mourn

Let’s face it, I’m dying, and I’ll never be reborn

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The Storm

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I see the clouds out in the distance

I feel the thunder rumbling inside

The lightening strikes and lights up the sky

It’s coming near, watch out, it will get you

I hear the screams, the pain, the fear

It’s right above me, I feel it now

It’s going to get me, some way, some how

I’m lying dead on the ground right below

I lay there, and watch, as it grows and grows

It’s going to get you and swallow you whole

It’s going to get you, that’s the story, it’s told

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Fears

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My love for you is more than words

Your hate for me, it really hurts

I see it in your eyes, the way that you look

I don’t understand, why can’t we make this work

I hear your friends, they laugh and joke

It will be over soon, I really do hope

I listen to the rumors, the lies, my fears

They’re all around, I know you hear

So why did you listen to your friends, the lies?

Why won’t you realize and open your eyes

Just take me back, I need you tonight

We can make this work, every day and night

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Worries

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You sit there with your head down low

They talk to you, you don’t hear them though

Your world is different, far from here

That cannot find you, you are not near

You look so sad, like you’re ready to die

Why do I see that? Why do you cry?

They want to find you, they do not know

What’s in your heart, why won’t it show?

If you hold it in, it will by okay

If you hold it in, it will blow you away

I know you’ll make it, you were always strong

My heart is for you, forever and on

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Laughing

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She looks at me and laughs inside

The hate for me she can not hide

There’s no way out, I realize that now

She took my love, my life, but how?

She looks at me and laughs out loud

I’m ready to cry as I step into the crowd

She can’t take it away for long, I’ll get it back somehow

She will get what’s coming to her, even if not now

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Acting

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The stage is a showcase for people to see

They hide their true feelings

Become new and free

The actresses, gorgeous

The actors, so grand

They take a nice bow as the crowd claps their hands

The show isn’t over

Life is a stage

The show will go on, every day

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Suicide Attempt

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There are marks on my arms

There are too many pills

My life is in shambles

How do I deal?

My world is so dark, dreary, and gloom

My heart is all black, twisted, and doomed

I talk to some people

They try to explain

Life is too short

To live it in pain

I’m lying in bed, dying I know

I open my eyes

Life is my show

We moved far away

It’s a lot better here

I’m happy to say

I now live without fear

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Too Much Trouble

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I know I did wrong

I wish I could change it

The temptation was strong

I did without thinking

If I could turn back time

I would in an instance

I’d be doing just fine

If I’d only resisted

What’s done is done

I can’t change the past

Now the time has come

To do the right thing, and fast

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Truth Unknown

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You tell me that the rumors are not what it is

I don’t understand, is there something I missed?

We were so happy, I thought it was there

Now I can see, you really don’t care

You’re hiding something, I know, but what is it though?

Why won’t you let your feelings show?

You held me so close, and I kissed your sweet lips

The feeling inside you just wasn’t quite it

I know that I shouldn’t, though I do want to wait

But the feelings you show, seem so close to hate

You say that you care, but I know that’s not true

You told me we could try again if your feelings renew

I love you, do you hear me?

I know that you don’t

But if you say your ready

I can’t say I won’t

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Friends Forever

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(the person I wrote this about, I’m still in contact with)

She’s been there for me, from the start

She tells me things straight from her heart

I tell her things that nobody knows

Her friendship is something that she always shows

I rely on her to give me advice

She’s always there to tell me what’s wrong and right

She will always be my best friend

And I know she’ll be there till the end

My love for her is more than words

She’s always there when something occurs

We’ve known each other our whole lives, she’s become more like a sister

I wish that I could see her more, because I really miss her

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True Feelings

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You told me you loved me, that you’d always be there

Yet you wanted to break up with me, but you did not dare

You sent me some candy, and sweet smelling flowers

But, I didn’t know, I would lose you in hours

You send me to shivers, the way that you touch

I want you to know that I love you so much

I gave you my heart, and you took it from me

You threw it away for the whole world to see

You hid your true feelings from me for so long

You didn’t know what you were doing was wrong

I know that your feelings are different than mine

I hope they will change if we give it some time

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Harder

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It’s getting harder every day

I feel I’m locked inside

I pray that this will go away

I pray that I will die

I just want to get out of here

Away from all this pain

My mind is only full of fear

I feel like I’m insane

I feel that I am locked away

Alone inside this cell

I sit here every single day

It feels like I’m in hell

I know that life won’t stay this bad

But for now it all feels wrong

It’s taking everything I have

I hope it won’t take long