Mom Support Group
- Raven Ambrose
- Jul 26
- 13 min read
Updated: Sep 14
What do you do when you have a difficult child?
Do you have any stories about unruly children? These could be about your own kids or those of others.
I’m composing this post right now because I need to decide what to communicate to the support group. My goal is to share my story, our experiences at this specific location, and how we arrived at our current situation. This is an exceptionally challenging task, as it involves not only reflecting on my personal journey but also considering the collective experiences of those who have walked alongside me in this process.
In preparing my message, I feel it's essential to delve into the nuances of our shared experiences, highlighting the moments that have shaped us and the lessons we've learned along the way. Each story is a mosaic of emotions, challenges, and triumphs that collectively paint a picture of resilience and hope. I aim to convey the significance of our time spent here, the connections we've forged, and the support we've provided one another during difficult times.
Changing someone's mindset requires making numerous mistakes to discover what is correct. This journey of growth and transformation is rarely linear; it is often filled with setbacks and missteps that serve as valuable learning opportunities. Each mistake teaches us something new about ourselves and the world around us, guiding us closer to a place of understanding and acceptance. It is through this trial and error that we begin to unravel the complexities of our thoughts and beliefs, allowing us to embrace new perspectives.
Additionally, each situation is entirely unique. What works for one person may not resonate with another, and this diversity of experiences is what makes our support group so vital. We each bring our own backgrounds, struggles, and insights to the table, enriching the dialogue and fostering a deeper sense of empathy among us. As I prepare to share my story, I recognize the importance of honoring these individual narratives while also weaving them into a broader tapestry of shared experience.
In conclusion, my intention is to create a space where vulnerability is welcomed, and where our collective wisdom can shine through. By articulating our journeys, we not only empower ourselves but also inspire others who may be facing similar challenges. It is this spirit of collaboration and understanding that I hope to convey in my communication to the support group, as we continue to navigate this complex path together.
Roller Coaster Ride
Our experience has been an intense rollercoaster, filled with unexpected twists and turns that have tested our resilience and commitment. We find ourselves navigating the complexities of two separate households, each with its own distinct philosophies and views on the best practices for raising children. This divergence often leads to conflicting approaches, which can be challenging as we strive to provide a stable and nurturing environment for our children. Detailing every significant event from the moment he left the facility to the myriad experiences that have shaped him into the person he is today would indeed take an immense amount of time and effort, but I can certainly share insights into my own personal transformation throughout this journey.
I may touch upon concepts or experiences that might be unfamiliar to you, but rest assured, I will take the time to elaborate on those points when the moment is appropriate. For now, let me take you back to the pivotal moment that initiated my journey of change: it all began when my own mother made the decision to unjustly send me to jail. This experience was nothing short of a significant wake-up call for me. It forced me to confront uncomfortable truths about myself and my upbringing. I realized, with a heavy heart, that I was starting to mirror the very behaviors and attitudes of my mother—behaviors that I had long resented. This realization ignited a fierce determination within me; I did not want to follow in her footsteps or perpetuate a cycle of dysfunction.
My aspiration is to cultivate a relationship with my children that reflects the deep connection and understanding I always yearned for with my own parents but never truly experienced. I want to break the mold and create a nurturing environment that fosters love, trust, and open communication. However, I must emphasize that this transformation did not happen overnight. It has been a gradual process, marked by numerous challenges and a steep learning curve. With every change comes a period of adjustment, a time when I had to figure out the right way forward in what often felt like uncharted territory.
To illustrate this point, consider the experience of working for a company for two decades and then facing a sudden buyout. You become accustomed to the old ways of doing things, and the transition to new methods can be overwhelming and disorienting. Adapting to these changes is a lengthy process, where you have to learn what works and what doesn’t, often through trial and error. Similarly, my journey has involved a series of adjustments as I strive to redefine my role as a parent and a person.
In recent years, there have been numerous events and experiences that have profoundly shifted my perspective. Each of these moments has acted as a catalyst for reflection and growth, pushing me to reassess my values, beliefs, and the way I interact with my children. These experiences have not only shaped my understanding of parenting but have also reinforced my commitment to breaking free from the patterns of the past. It is a continuous journey, one filled with ups and downs, but each step forward brings me closer to the relationship I envision with my children—a relationship built on mutual respect, love, and understanding.
Altered Perspective
Becoming a hospice nurse profoundly altered my perspective on life and death in ways I could never have anticipated. In any profession where death is a frequent occurrence, individuals experience significant transformations that can shape their worldview and emotional responses. These changes can manifest in various forms, whether they be positive or negative, and the outcome often hinges on the individual’s personal journey and resilience. For me, this journey has been overwhelmingly positive. Through my experiences, I have come to realize that life is not only brief but also incredibly delicate, and our bodies, as vessels of existence, are remarkably fragile. The once-held belief that death is a distant event gradually fades as we age and witness the inevitable losses around us. Reflecting on my earlier misconceptions, I once thought that people were inherently fixed in their ways and incapable of change. However, I was mistaken in this belief. Change is indeed possible, as I have observed in others and have also experienced in my own life. The key to facilitating meaningful change lies in one’s desire and intrinsic motivation to grow. It is essential to understand that no one can truly fix another person; rather, we must embark on a journey of transformation from within ourselves. Instead of succumbing to a mindset of "I can't," I have learned to embrace the empowering perspective of "why not." This shift in thinking has been pivotal in my personal development. In summary, I came to the realization that I needed to change myself before I could expect others to change. This realization was not just limited to my own personal growth; it also encompassed the relationships I hold dear. There were numerous challenges along the way, as it was not only my own transformation that was necessary, but also the changes required from my husband, his dad, his stepmom, and my children. We have all been learning to view situations through a lens of positivity rather than negativity. I am actively teaching them to recognize our role in the consequences we face and how to navigate forward in a constructive manner. I want my children to understand that life is inherently unfair, regardless of their age, and I refuse to allow them to develop an expectation of constant fairness in their lives. What does fairness even mean? My concept of fairness can differ greatly from that of my children, and if I had the power, I would gladly remove that word from their vocabulary. Instead, I have started to show them more love and compassion, making a conscious effort to listen actively, respond kindly, and judge less harshly. The more I practiced these behaviors, the more they became an integral part of who I am. When my son experiences emotional breakdowns, I strive to remain calm and composed (most of the time, as I am still human and subject to my own emotional fluctuations). Even in moments when we both become upset, I view these instances as valuable learning opportunities. It is important to acknowledge that parents, too, can become overwhelmed, but what truly matters is how we recover from those moments. My son has learned to apologize on his own after he has had the chance to calm down and reflect on the situation. Working on oneself is a continuous and daily effort. Complacency can lead to excuses and setbacks that hinder our growth. If we, as parents, do not make a conscious effort to maintain kindness and understanding, things can easily regress. Our children are keen observers; they learn how to treat others by watching how we treat them. This process is not solely an individual endeavor; it is a collective effort that involves all parents and caregivers. By fostering an environment of love, patience, and resilience, we can create a nurturing space where growth and transformation flourish for both ourselves and our children.
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This Are Always Changing
One reason I enjoy blogs is the convenience of revisiting and adding more content when new events happen or fresh ideas come to mind. The ability to return to a previously written post and enhance it with additional thoughts or experiences is incredibly valuable. It allows for a dynamic form of expression that evolves over time, reflecting not only personal growth but also the changing landscape of life itself. Just now, my eldest son, who has a delightful sense of humor, showed me three amusing video bloopers that had us both in stitches. As we watched the clips, the laughter came pouring out, and I found myself laughing so hard that I was in tears. These moments—filled with joy, spontaneity, and connection—are what truly matter in life. They serve as reminders of the simple pleasures that can brighten our days and strengthen our bonds with loved ones. The laughter we shared not only lightened our spirits but also created a cherished memory that I can later revisit in my blog, adding layers of context and emotion to the narrative. This blend of humor and heartfelt connection exemplifies why I value the blogging process so much; it is a canvas for capturing life’s fleeting yet precious moments.
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All Living Beings Deserve Life
If there's one thing that always makes me upset, it's the act of killing an innocent creature purely for enjoyment. The thought of taking the life of a defenseless animal, simply for the thrill of the chase or the satisfaction of mounting a trophy on a wall, fills me with a deep sense of anger and disappointment. I despise when people hunt for sport; it infuriates me to witness such disregard for life. The idea that someone would derive pleasure from the suffering and death of another living being is not only troubling but also speaks volumes about our values as a society. Hunting for sport often undermines the principles of respect and stewardship that should govern our relationship with the natural world. It is completely unacceptable to prioritize personal gratification over the well-being of innocent creatures who have every right to live peacefully in their habitats. The impact of such actions extends beyond the individual animal; it disrupts ecosystems, diminishes biodiversity, and can lead to the endangerment of species. Moreover, the justification often provided by sport hunters—that they contribute to conservation efforts or that their actions are part of wildlife management—does not mitigate the moral implications of their pursuits. There are countless ways to appreciate and engage with nature that do not involve violence or the taking of life. Activities such as wildlife photography, birdwatching, or simply enjoying the beauty of nature in its untouched state can foster a deeper connection to the environment and promote a more ethical approach to conservation. In our modern world, where awareness of animal rights and environmental issues is more prominent than ever, it is crucial to advocate for practices that honor and protect all forms of life. The act of hunting for sport should be challenged and condemned, as it reflects a troubling attitude towards nature and the creatures that inhabit it. We must strive to cultivate a sense of empathy and responsibility towards all living beings, recognizing that every creature plays a vital role in the intricate web of life that sustains our planet.
I'm currently at my sister's house, which is conveniently located two hours away from my own home. This trip has been a delightful escape from our daily routines, and we are making the most of it by staying in our cozy camper, which we have parked near her home. The atmosphere here is tranquil, with the sounds of nature surrounding us, and it has provided a perfect backdrop for family bonding. One of the highlights of this visit has been the stunning Orbweaver, commonly known as the Garden Spider, that had spun an intricate and beautiful web in my sister's outdoor shower. The web was a marvel of nature, with its delicate strands glistening in the morning sunlight, showcasing the spider's remarkable craftsmanship. This morning, during breakfast, I found myself deep in conversation with my sister and brother-in-law about the possibility of relocating this fascinating spider. The reason for our discussion was that they were planning to install a new shower head, which would require us to move the spider and its web to ensure that the installation could proceed without any issues. I was genuinely impressed by the spider's artistry and was hoping to find a way to preserve its home while also accommodating the household’s needs. However, just as we were contemplating our options, my nephew suddenly informed me that my son had killed the spider. Alarmed, I hurried downstairs to investigate, and to my dismay, I found the poor creature crushed on the ground, its beautiful web utterly destroyed. It was a heartbreaking sight to witness. The situation escalated as everyone began pointing fingers, claiming that my oldest son was responsible for this unfortunate event. When I confronted him about it, he immediately denied any wrongdoing, which was not surprising given his tendency to evade responsibility. He then insisted that it was an accident, claiming that a ball had accidentally hit the spider while he was in the shower. This narrative was corroborated by the other children, who seemed eager to back him up. However, I soon discovered that he had deliberately taken a basketball into the shower with the intention of throwing it at the spider. My frustration mounted as I processed this information, leading me to express my dismay over the senseless loss of an innocent creature that had been simply minding its own business. As I expressed my feelings about the situation, my son decided to seek refuge with my husband, claiming that I was being "overdramatic" about the whole ordeal. This accusation struck a nerve, especially considering that he often displays his own brand of melodrama on a near-daily basis. Just two days prior, he had become visibly upset with his 8-year-old sister for chewing an apple too loudly, an incident that seemed trivial in comparison to the death of a living being. It was frustrating to see him dismiss my emotions regarding the spider's death while he himself frequently reacts strongly to minor inconveniences. I couldn’t help but feel that if my son could become so animated over something as insignificant as apple chewing, then surely my feelings about the loss of a spider were justified. In that moment, I resolved that I would embrace my "overdramatic" tendencies if it meant standing up for the rights of innocent creatures. After all, the Orbweaver had done nothing wrong; it had simply been existing in its natural habitat, contributing to the ecosystem in its own small way. The loss of such a creature, especially at the hands of someone who should understand the value of life, was something I felt deeply. I believe it is important to teach our children empathy and respect for all living things, and this incident has ignited a desire in me to have more conversations about the significance of life, no matter how small. Perhaps through this experience, we can all learn to appreciate the beauty of nature and the importance of coexisting with it harmoniously.
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Hard Choices
There's something about how teens spend money that I just can't comprehend. It often leaves me puzzled and scratching my head, trying to understand the rationale behind their financial decisions. In a world where financial literacy is becoming increasingly important, it seems that many teenagers are navigating their spending habits without a clear understanding of the consequences. The way they prioritize their expenditures often defies logic and reason.
Honestly, how can a child or teenager decide to undergo surgery to alter their body parts when they struggle to make informed choices about simpler aspects of life? It raises significant concerns about their ability to weigh long-term implications versus short-term desires. The decision to alter one's body is monumental and requires a level of maturity and understanding that many adolescents simply do not possess. This contradiction highlights a broader issue: the disparity between the impulsive nature of youth and the weighty decisions they sometimes feel pressured to make. It seems that, in many cases, they are not fully equipped to handle such life-changing choices.
Can someone explain why my son spends his ENTIRE paycheck at Dunkin Donuts? This question has been a recurring theme in our household, and it continues to baffle me. He is supposed to be saving for a car, a significant milestone that would grant him independence and mobility. At just 16 years old, he is at an age where he should be excited about the prospect of driving, yet he won’t even take the first step to obtain a permit. This lack of motivation to save for something that could enhance his life makes his spending habits all the more perplexing.
My sister lives in an area where food deliveries are notoriously expensive due to the distance from urban centers, and the high cost of living near the beach only exacerbates the situation. Yet, despite these financial realities, my son seems oblivious to the implications of his spending. Just yesterday, he woke up and spent OVER 50 DOLLARS on 50 munchkins, a breakfast sandwich, and an iced coffee. 🤯 The sheer extravagance of such a purchase for breakfast is staggering, particularly when you consider that he could have easily enjoyed a hearty meal from the ample breakfast food and coffee we have at home. This morning, he followed up with another splurge, spending over 30 dollars on yet another sandwich and coffee. It’s as if he is completely disconnected from the value of money and the importance of budgeting.
My sister and I have plenty of breakfast food and coffee readily available, so the question looms larger in my mind: JUST WHY?!?! Why the preference for overpriced takeout when there are perfectly good alternatives at home? Is it a matter of convenience, a desire for social acceptance, or perhaps a craving for the experience of dining out? Whatever the reason, it seems that the lessons about saving, budgeting, and making wise financial choices are getting lost amidst the allure of instant gratification. As parents, we strive to instill these values in our children, but it can feel like an uphill battle when faced with such perplexing spending behaviors.
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Super Nanny
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