The Weight of the World is Too Much to Bear

Im struggling!

I’ve gotten pretty good at not letting people see that. Most people would never even guess just how much I struggle on the inside. I’m the one always cheering others on, the positive and loving one towards everyone else.

I cry a lot, and not just because I’m an empath to the extreme, but because I hurt so much inside for myself, as well as for this world.

For years, I’ve taken medication to help regulate it. Unfortunately, I’ve had to stop one of them because of the tremors it was causing in my hands, which eventually started affecting my face. Since coming off it, I have felt this shift internally.

Though I know it’s not just the medication that is causing this shift, but so many other things.

My entire life, I have struggled with mental health. I grew up in a house that from the outside looked great, but on the inside, not so much. I know it could have been worse; the stories I have heard have made the hairs on my butt curl with the horror of them. I realized that in life things can always be worse, in every single situation. I’ve also learned that in every situation things could be better as well.

Just because our problems don't seem as intense as others' doesn’t mean that our problems are less than others. We all face our own issues, and each issue comes with its own set of problems. Just because I may complain about something that seems like nothing to one person doesn’t mean it is nothing to me. If I could take away pain, loss, sadness, and hatred from this world, I would in a heartbeat; unfortunately, it’s just not possible.

As an empath, I have a hard time engaging in the world around me because of the awful things I see on a regular basis. Just this morning, I found out a 12-year-old died because she got hit in the head with a metal water bottle by another 12-year-old. She was hit in the head because she was sticking up for someone who was being bullied. Because of that, she will no longer be able to live her life. Because of that, her family has to live without her.

You would think with the rise in social media, the rise in suicides, and the rise in homicides, something would change. But unfortunately, things are changing alright, just for the worse, not better. No parent should have to deal with a child who killed themselves because of bullying, or the loss of a child because another person's child killed them. If your child is bullying other people, YOU are the problem. YOU need to look in the mirror and ask yourself why your kid is a bully. What are YOU doing wrong? Please come at me and tell me I’m wrong for blaming the parents of bullies, I dare you! Because I WILL take you down with your nonsense.

This world will NEVER get better unless people WAKE UP and see what is happening. Most people are too busy worrying about the stupidest things to see what’s really going on around them. How do we get people to wake up??? I’m being desperately serious when I ask this question. How do we stop this hatred and violence if all we ever get back is “well, they were hateful first, so I did it back”? Literally the most backward way of thinking there is. Why the hell were they hateful in the first place, and do you honestly think that being hateful back is going to fix anything? How, pray tell, does being hateful back fix things????

I wish there were a way that I could get a hold of every single human being on the face of this Earth and shake the hell out of them. Shake the hatred right out of them.

Please wake up, people, before it’s too late. Please be the change we so DESPERATELY need in this world. Please be the kindness and the love that we have to have before the Earth is destroyed, before we even have a chance to find another planet for humans to destroy.

My goal in this life has always been to take care of other people. But how long can one last taking care of others in a world where hatred is everywhere you look? I feel like I am a one-girl army against billions of hateful people, and it’s weighing on me so hard I feel like I am going to explode from the pressure of it all.

Social media is a double-edged sword. I use it because it’s the only way to get my words out there to the world. It’s also one of the many reasons my heart hurts so terribly.

Another question that has been swirling around in my head is how people can use other people's kids, other people's lives, and act like it’s their own. Gain money and “followers” by pretending to be someone else. It’s sick. Those people need so much help.

Unfortunately, mental health in this world will only continue to decline. There will never be enough mental health professionals to take care of the rise in it all. Shoot, mental health professionals struggle with their own mental health, especially trying to deal with the awfulness that is everyone else while also trying to deal with their own lives.

Something needs to change. What I’m doing is not enough; I’m only one little tiny clownfish in a sea of piranhas.

I'm desperate, guys. What do you suggest?