Pain

Jul 30, 2025
12 min read

Updated: Feb 16

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Do You Feel The Pain?

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We all deal with physical pain at some point, whether it's just a little discomfort or something really intense. It might be short-lived, like after an injury or surgery, or it could stick around, like with arthritis or fibromyalgia. Pain is basically a way of your body telling you something's wrong, involving both your body and brain. It can be caused by things like accidents or internal issues like infections or diseases such as cancer. How we experience pain is personal, influenced by our genes, mental stat?e, and past experiences. Long-term pain can really affect your mood, leading to frustration and depression, which can make the pain feel worse. So, it's important to address both the physical and emotional aspects.

How we deal with pain is influenced by what society thinks about it. Our cultural beliefs can shape whether we seek help or just try to tough it out on our own. Talking openly and getting support is crucial for handling pain effectively.

Over the past 39 years, I've been through a lot, especially with my spine. Raising four kids, including twins, has really pushed me to my limits. I've had two surgeries for herniated discs, which have made things pretty uncomfortable on the regular. Plus, I've had a broken ankle, hip dysplasia, and high arches, all of which have thrown off my mobility and balance.

The Good Feet Store has helped me out with arch supports and orthotic solutions, making it easier for me to walk and improving my posture. Despite the challenges, those moments of relief and hope keep me motivated to work on my health and well-being.

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Do You Feel The Burn?

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If you have never felt pain due to nerve damage, then count yourself extremely blessed. I have a very high pain tolerance. It takes a lot of pain to make me take medicine because I HATE prescription pain medication. I hate that they make you so constipated, I hate the way they make you feel spacey, and I hate how addicting they are for so many people.

I've dealt with two herniated discs. The first one happened in the summer of 2018. I was really upset with my ex-husband over something. So, I headed to the batting cages and swung at 100 balls, missing only 2. Guess I swung a bit too hard!

I remember it was Labor Day weekend. I went to my parents' "water" house, where they went on the weekends. They were having a Labor Day weekend party. This house is out in the middle of nowhere. It’s at the end of a very long road that ends at the water and Ts off. So there is one road of houses along the sound. Their house is right on the sound, and the people in their area of the street like to hang out together. Actually, there was a family that lived in multiple houses along the road. We hung out with all of them.

At this point, I was starting to feel the pain, but I had never felt that kind of pain before. It had me in tears. I didn’t even know what to do because all the stuff I had didn’t even touch the pain. My mom, being who she is, was laughing at me and talking shit to me because I was in so much pain that I was crying. Luckily, her next-door neighbor was a nurse. She let me come over and lie in her bed and gave me some things that helped a little.

When I finally had a chance to go to the ER, I sat there in this room (away from the main waiting room). It was full of people. I suppose it was overflow from the crazy amount of people at the ER. I sat there in so much pain, for what felt like forever. It was pretty late in the evening at this point. The doctor then tried to tell me that it was probably just a pinched nerve or a pulled muscle. They tried to give me some pain meds and said I could leave. I refused to leave. I told them I would not leave until they did something. They did an X-ray on me. Come to find out, something really wasn’t right.

I ended up having surgery on it. I also had two bulging discs, but he didn’t touch them. He had to put in a new disc with titanium and someone else’s bone.

After that surgery, I stupidly took the medications as directed. I was in so much pain. They also made me constipated for two weeks. Oh, the things I had to take to try to get it out. Two bottles of magnesium citrate and some mineral oil finally did the trick, but I vowed after that I would never do that again. At one point, I remember having to go to the beach just to put my bare feet in the sand and water to help me feel more grounded. I felt like I was in some kind of lala land. I did not do that the second time. I only took ibuprofen and Tylenol mostly. I think I took a morphine pill two times to help me sleep at night, but that was it.

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Can Someone Do Something?

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The second herniated disc I had was almost a year later. I was in the military at that time. I was helping lead a group of people in Germany for our two-week annual tour. At the end of the first week, I noticed something wasn’t feeling right. I worked at a terminal. My job was to get passengers and cargo on and off planes. When I was moving bags from one area to another, something popped. I didn’t think much of it then. But as the days went on, so did the pain. By the end of the week, it was getting bad. My friend ended up taking me to the hospital.

Since we were in another country, that part was a little tricky. We ended up having to go to one in a smaller town close by on an army base. Let me tell you, the service was awful.

We sat in the waiting room for a few hours. At this point, I was practically rolling around in pain; it was so excruciating. My friend finally yelled out, “Can someone do something? It's obvious how much pain she is in!”

They finally took me back to a room, and man, the hospital was super quiet. Only the ER and pharmacy were up and running, which made the whole place feel kind of spooky. Here's a funny twist: the nurse looking after me turned out to be a friend from a military base I was stationed at ages ago. Her husband used to work with my ex-husband, so we used to hang out occasionally. It was so random to bump into her in Germany and have her as my nurse that night.

So, she gave me dilaudid, and it helped enough for me to finally fall asleep. By then, my body was very worn out from being in such intense pain for so long.

I've had 4 kids, including a set of twins, so I definitely know what pain feels like. But honestly, nothing compares to nerve pain. It's like a knife cutting through you, and the only way to really get rid of it is to tackle the root cause. No meds can completely wipe it out; they just make it a bit more bearable.

That weekend, I still drove to Amsterdam and Brussels. We enjoyed Gay Pride Week in Amsterdam that weekend. Though I was in pain due to that, and I had a hell of a hemorrhoid, I was in a lot of pain that day. You never would have known it, though, because I wasn’t about to let that stop me from visiting other countries.

On my way back from Germany, I ended up sitting in front of a kid who really loved kicking my seat. I asked her to stop a bunch of times and even talked to her parent, but it never really stopped. The ride home was pretty rough. Right after that, I booked an appointment and had my surgery a week later. The pain was intense. The night before the surgery, I was in so much pain from that and the hemorrhoid that was still there. I ended up back in the ER. The pain was so bad, I remember curling up on the floor, but it still took hours to be seen because the place was packed. And the only thing they did was give me more pain meds. Go figure! 250 dollar ER visit for pain meds I don’t use.

I really hope I never go through that kind of pain again, and I wouldn't wish it on you either. Honestly, I wouldn't want anyone to experience it, no matter how bad of a personthey are.

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My Ankle Shouldn’t Look Like That

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A few autumns back, late September, I was biking every day trying to hit a certain distance. To make it more comfortable, I swapped the standard bike seat for a wider one since the regular ones are way too small. My routine got interrupted by rain, but I jumped back into it with excitement, aiming to ride even further. But halfway through my ride back, things went downhill. I had a water bottle attached to my handlebars and, being lazy, I didn’t stop to take a sip. I just untwisted it while it was still hanging on the handlebar and I was still going. This led to me wiping out in a puddle, and I ended up with a broken ankle.

I called my husband, totally freaking out. He kept asking me where I was, like that was the most important thing right then. I told him to check Life360 and then hung up. I just lay there, hurt, with my leg up, ankle twisted, and a little piece of bone sticking out. And cars just drove by without stopping. My husband was at my daughter's friend's house picking her up. After I called, he asked if she could stay with them while he came to me, and they said yes. But the funny thing is, her friend's dad said, "Oh, that must be who I drove by while I was coming home." People did notice me; they just didn’t want to stop.

A paramedic on a bike and a former nurse stopped to help out, and I’m so grateful for them. I was lying in a really uncomfortable position. The nurse held me from behind, so I didn’t get a good look at her face, but she was super calming.

When my husband arrived, the nurse asked if I wanted him to take her spot. I quickly shouted, "No!" There was just something about her—she was like my guardian angel that day, and I couldn't bear the thought of her leaving.

A cop was just driving by and decided to pull over. No one had called an ambulance yet, so she did it through her radio. It took them 30 minutes to arrive, even though there was an emergency station less than a quarter of a mile from where I was lying. The woman stayed with me until I was safely in the ambulance. As they were loading me in, I caught a quick look at my angel's face.

The trip to the hospital was pretty bumpy. Every little bump made the pain shoot through me.

When we got there, it was total chaos. They whisked me into a room super fast. The doctor who came in was this really young guy. He gave me some fentanyl (which, by the way, actually doesn’t works for me, probably because I smoke too much weed). At this point, I'm pretty out of it due to the pain. This doctor decided to just go ahead and set my foot right then and there. My husband said I screamed so loud that a bunch of people came to my room to check if I was okay. I don’t remember any of it. He didn’t even bother to stabilize my foot with anything. Just set it and walked away, so of course, it slipped right back to where it was.

He just up and left me there like that.

Another doctor walked in, and I recognized him from when I used to work there. That's when I knew I was in much better hands. He was really nice and moved me to one of the trauma rooms. In the ER, you have the regular rooms, which are pretty standard size. But then there are the trauma rooms for emergencies, which are much bigger and stocked with tons of supplies. He put me in that twilight state, where I was awake but didn't remember a thing.

I know he fixed my ankle and put a brace on it. Turns out, my ankle was broken in five places. I ended up needing surgery a week later, two metal plates and a rod with screws. It wasn't fun, especially when it bumped into something. Plus, it was big and not exactly pretty. And the scars? Yeah, those are sticking around for good, unfortunately.

The next day, I had to go back to the ER because the pain got worse, and I ended up with compartment syndrome. The following three months were rough since I couldn’t walk or drive, and I had to lean on others for help. This time really challenged my resilience and adaptability, making me confront feelings of vulnerability and dependence. It was a time for reflection, showing me just how important community and support really are. I learned to appreciate the kindness of others and found new ways to contribute, marking a big journey of growth and adaptation. I spent 24 weeks going to therapy, and honestly, I loved going. I literally sobbed when my last day came.

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Earthly Angel

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I eventually got to meet my angel in real life, all thanks to social media! I posted on Facebook about who I was looking for, not really expecting much to happen. But months later, I got a message—it was her! I was so emotional when I found out where she was and asked her to meet up for coffee. My youngest daughter and I met her at a local bakery. She’s awesome, and I’m super thankful for her. I bought her coffee as a little thank you. Even though we haven’t been able to meet up again because we’re both so busy, we still chat randomly on messenger. I’m really grateful I got to meet my lifesaver from that day.

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Post Op

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A couple of years down the line, I'm just hanging out on my front porch, my usual spot to unwind from the daily chaos and keep my sanity in check. The air's got that late-summer vibe, but I'm grabbing a joint to chill out a bit. My ankle's alright after today's surgery to remove the metal from the break. The doc said I could get the metal taken out and insurance would cover it. So, out it went.

I usually stick to Tylenol or ibuprofen to avoid the heavy-duty meds. My ankle's got a dull ache, but it's not too bad. The nausea from the surgery and meds is still lingering, though, which makes it tough to enjoy the little things on the porch, but the weed helps with that aspect a lot. Despite that, I try to focus on the positives—the sunshine, the birds, and my recovery journey.

As I sit here, I'm reflecting on my healing journey, realizing it's not just about my body but my mind and spirit too. I take deep breaths, letting go of the stress, and I'm ready to face what's ahead with patience and strength, one day at a time.

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Lists

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Books 📚

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Songs 🎶

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Movies//Shows/Documentaries 🎦

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Bible verses about pain ✝️

Isaiah 53:5 – “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 – “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
Job 30:17 – “Night pierces my bones; my gnawing pains never rest.”
Psalm 38:7 – “My back is filled with searing pain; there is no health in my body.”
Matthew 8:17 – “This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah: ‘He took up our infirmities and bore our diseases.'”
1 Peter 2:24 – “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; ‘by his wounds you have been healed.'”
Matthew 4:24 – “News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed; and he healed them.”
Revelation 21:4 – “‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Jeremiah 30:17 – “‘But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD, ‘because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.'”
Luke 10:34 – “He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him.”