Love Everyone, Trust Few

Today was a real eye-opener for me. When things go south and you're super upset, wondering why it's all happening, just know there's a reason behind it. We might not get it right away, and yeah, it's tough in the moment. I totally get that. But that's why staying mindful and chatting with those you trust can help clear things up.

If you checked out my post "It's Just Not Fair," you'd know what went down at work yesterday. I got "fired" from a place I'd been at for over a year and a half. They all acted like they loved having me around, always being so nice and making me feel like I truly mattered.

Turns out, it was all just a facade. How people can act like that and still call themselves caregivers is beyond me. It's just cruel to lie to someone's face, making them think one thing when you've been plotting against them all along.

In my blog, I mentioned having a weird feeling after talking to someone I thought was a friend. She acted shocked, like she’d never do that to me because she cared about me. Yet, she still tried to mess things up for me.

I suspected she’d go to my workplace after our chat. I regretted reaching out to her right after. I really thought I could trust her given the bond we’d built over time. Boy, was I wrong. Honestly, I can't figure out why people feel the need to hurt good folks for no reason.

So, my supervisor and HR manager call, and guess what? She did exactly what I feared. They told me I need to stay professional, no matter how I feel. Seriously, how do you keep it all in and stay professional in hospice care? I'm not a robot; I have feelings.

What really bugs me is when I called her yesterday to ask what was going on, why did she pretend she knew nothing? Why act like she liked me (even saying she loved me and my sweet daughter) and then stab me in the back? If you're going to be hateful, own it. The worst are those who pretend to care when they really don't. At least if you're openly a jerk, there's no guessing how you feel about me.

What ticks me off the most is my HR manager saying I've caused "damage" between our company and the facility, and that the marketer and main RN there will face backlash. Who cares about my long-term contribution? Honestly, I probably did more for that place than the marketer ever did. If you asked any of the patient's families or employees I interacted with, they'd have nothing bad to say about me. Especially the families—they really appreciate me, no doubt about it. So if everyone else is cool with me, why isn't management? My guess is insecurity, but who knows.

So, like I've been told a million times it seems, it is what it is, and I just have to move on. The pain will fade, but I'm glad for the good memories. I don't wish bad on anyone, but what some call Karma, I call consequences of your actions. It'll catch up to them eventually.

My HR manager says they want to keep me on because they know I'm a good person (I very much appreciate them for that). But, if I let my heart overrule my head again (my words, not hers), I'll get written up, and if it happens again, I'm probably out. It's sad because I haven't done anything to deserve this mess. I've always been a good person, spreading love wherever I go. If that's my biggest crime, then who knows what the future holds for me, because I will never stop doing that. But I'll handle it when that time comes.