It’s Gonna Happen

Day One - Oct 3, 2025

I have been using marijuana daily for 5 years, and it has become a significant part of my life, influencing various aspects of my daily routine and personal relationships. In fact, it’s the very reason I got kicked out of the Air Force, a story I will share in due time, as it is a pivotal moment that shaped my current circumstances. While I wouldn’t consider myself a heavy smoker compared to some of my peers, I know individuals who indulge in marijuana as soon as they wake up in the morning and continue throughout the day. These people often bring THC vape pens with them when they go out in public, making it a constant companion in their lives. I, on the other hand, prefer to keep my usage confined to the comfort of my home. The earliest I will start smoking is around 10 AM, and even that is a rare occurrence. Typically, I hold off until the early afternoon when I’ve completed my work for the day. On days when I’m not working, I usually begin my smoking routine around 11 or 12. The frequency and amount I consume can vary greatly depending on the day and my mood. However, it’s important to note that at the dispensary, we are restricted to a certain amount of marijuana each month. For a period, I found myself smoking only an ounce a week, but eventually, I hit my limit and had to adjust my consumption. This forced me to learn how to stretch my supply throughout the entire week instead of indulging heavily at the beginning. Gradually, I became accustomed to smoking only 3/4 of an ounce within the weekly timeframe, which was a significant change for me. My husband often expresses his concerns about my smoking habits, frequently reminding me of the downsides, such as the smell that clings to my clothes and hair and the financial burden it imposes on us. It’s not an exaggeration to say that I probably spend somewhere between $10,000 to $12,000 a year solely on the flower. This figure does not even account for the additional costs associated with accessories, such as rolling papers, pipes, or other paraphernalia that accompany my habit.

I know I need to stop, and I have recognized this for a long time. The reasons for quitting are numerous and compelling. For one, I am acutely aware of the unpleasant odor that marijuana leaves behind, and I can only imagine that my breath resembles that of an ashtray. My husband and kids have been vocal about this issue, noting that even after I floss, brush my teeth, use a tongue scraper, and rinse with mouthwash, the smell still lingers. This has led to a growing concern that others might detect the odor on me and judge me harshly, which is something I dread. Moreover, my smoking habit has adverse effects on my dental health, and I take great pride in maintaining a bright, healthy smile. Working in end-of-life care, I have witnessed firsthand the stark differences between those who diligently take care of their oral hygiene and those who do not. I aspire to belong to the former group, which is why I have established a meticulous morning and nightly dental care regimen to help me maintain a youthful appearance. Just a few weeks ago, I shared a picture of myself from high school with my 13-year-old daughter, and her enthusiastic reaction—“Dang, you look exactly the same!”—was a testament to my efforts. It’s a compliment I cherish, especially since it comes from a teenager who is known for their blunt honesty. After all, I’m 39 now, and for her to say that means a lot to me.

Having worked in my field long enough, I have come to understand that quitting cold turkey is rarely an effective method. It is generally more successful to taper off gradually until one can comfortably live without it altogether. To this end, I have already begun reducing my intake, smoking a quarter less than what I would normally smoke. The goal is to continue this trend, eventually decreasing my consumption to half an ounce and continuing until I am no longer dependent on it at all. I can’t say I want to come off of it completely,. but not this often. According to that lady at the dispensary that I like going to, an ounce a week is barely anything compared to some people that come in.

To facilitate this process, I must set small, achievable goals if I genuinely want to succeed in my efforts. For instance, I have made a commitment to myself that I will no longer smoke before noon, and I intend to stick to this rule without excuses. Another significant reason for my decision to quit is the gastrointestinal issues that have plagued me for some time. I have noticed that when I refrain from smoking, I tend to eat healthier and consume less overall. I also find that I avoid eating at inappropriate hours, such as late at night, which often leads to poor food choices and discomfort. I am aware that gluten and dairy are particularly problematic for my digestive system, causing bloating and gas. I made the conscious decision to eliminate gluten from my diet nearly two years ago, and although I have indulged in it once on purpose—specifically, a beignet in New Orleans, which was divine and absolutely worth it—I have largely adhered to this restriction. I have had it a handful of time, but it was without my knowing it had gluten in it. Dairy, on the other hand, remains a challenge for me, especially ice cream, which I know will wreak havoc on my stomach. Yet, I still find myself indulging in it despite the inevitable consequences. When I am not smoking, it becomes significantly easier to regulate my diet, leading to improvements in my digestive health and overall well-being.

Additionally, I often experience dry mouth, a common side effect of smoking, which undoubtedly contributes to the unpleasant odor of my breath. This dryness can be bothersome and may exacerbate the issue I face with bad breath. Furthermore, during the rare occasions when I do get sick, I have noticed that my recovery tends to take longer due to my smoking habit, which impedes my lungs' ability to heal efficiently. It’s clear that my daily marijuana use has a far-reaching impact on my health, and it is time for me to take control of my life and make the necessary changes for a healthier future.

Day 2 - Oct 4, 2025

Today I did pretty good, and I’m actually really proud of myself for the progress I've made. I managed to hold off on smoking until after noon, which is a significant achievement for me, especially considering the cravings I felt throughout the morning. It was challenging to resist, but I reminded myself of my goals and the reasons I wanted to cut back. After lunch, I allowed myself to smoke a half a joint, which felt like a reasonable way to ease into the afternoon. This was a conscious decision to enjoy my smoking in moderation rather than letting it control my day. About 2.5 to 3 hours later, I indulged in another half joint. This pacing is a departure from my usual habits, where I might smoke much more frequently throughout the day. By the time the evening rolled around, around 7:30, I smoked yet another half joint. When I tally it all up, that’s a total of one and a half joints for the day, which is significantly less than my typical consumption. Right now, as I sit here reflecting on my day, I’m smoking a half joint, and I plan to save the other half for later. If I calculate the total for today, it will amount to about 2.5 joints, which is still a considerable reduction from my previous habits. Normally, I would smoke about four joints in a day, and the fact that I’m managing to limit myself to just over half of that is a testament to my determination and self-control. Additionally, I’ve noticed a positive shift in my overall consumption patterns. Typically, Sunday nights would find me scraping the bottom of the bowl, desperately trying to gather the last remnants of my stash. However, this week is different; I still have enough left over to cover the entire bottom of the bowl, which is a clear indicator of my reduced usage. This is a significant change, as I’ve gone from consuming an ounce a week to now only using about three-quarters of an ounce, and I’m not even finishing that. This gradual reduction in my smoking habits has not only made me feel accomplished but has also contributed to a sense of clarity and well-being. I’m beginning to feel more in control of my choices, and it’s encouraging to see that I can enjoy smoking in moderation without letting it dominate my life. I look forward to continuing this journey and seeing how much further I can go in my efforts to maintain a healthier balance.

Day 8 - Oct 10, 2025

I just got back from a night in the mountains with two of my close girlfriends, and it was quite the adventure! We embarked on an exhilarating 5+ mile hike that truly tested our endurance and stamina. I have to admit, the trek was rough, and I realized just how out of shape I really am. The elevation changes and rocky terrain were challenging, but the breathtaking views of the landscape made it all worthwhile. The fresh mountain air was invigorating, and we all felt a sense of accomplishment as we pushed through the fatigue. Before we left for our trip yesterday, I prepared for the evening by rolling some joints. I ended up making a total of eight, anticipating that we might want to enjoy them during our time in the mountains. While I knew I wouldn’t need all eight, I thought it was wise to have a few extras on hand, just in case the moment called for it. In the end, I only smoked one and a half joints last night, while the other half was enjoyed by my friends. It was nice to share the experience, and we all had a good laugh while reminiscing about past trips and adventures. I had purchased a half an ounce of cannabis on Tuesday, and surprisingly, I still have quite a bit left. This is definitely not typical for me, as I usually find myself consuming it much more quickly. I’ve been reflecting on my habits lately, and I think I might want to make some changes. While I may not stop smoking entirely, I am aiming to reduce my consumption to only special occasions, much like my friends do. They rarely smoke, but when the mood strikes, like it did last night, they indulge just enough to enjoy the experience without it becoming a daily routine. Overall, I feel that I am doing much better than I initially expected. As I was driving back from the mountains, which is about a 3 to 3.5-hour drive without traffic, I had a moment of realization. I hadn’t craved cannabis at all throughout the day, and it wasn’t until that moment, while I was lost in thought, sitting in traffic, that I started to think about it. Interestingly, the only time I thought about smoking was while we were packing up and leaving the cozy apartment where we stayed. At that early hour, it was far too soon for me to partake, and I felt a sense of clarity in that decision. Now, it’s 6:30 PM, and I just sat down about 15 minutes ago, preparing to smoke my first joint of the day. I can hardly remember the last time I did that; usually, I find myself starting somewhere between noon and 2 PM. This shift in my routine feels significant, and I’m curious to see how it will affect my overall lifestyle moving forward. I’m hopeful that these small changes will lead to a healthier balance in my life, allowing me to enjoy the moments that matter without relying heavily on substances.

Day 13 - Oct 15, 2025

Right now, I'm at the airport waiting for my flight to Charlotte, NC, and then on to Knoxville, Tenn. I considered driving so I could bring my “stuff” with me, but that's not possible on a plane. I almost opted for the 8 and a half hours of continuous driving to reach my destination, as opposed to two 45-minute flights. Fortunately, my friend, whom I'm visiting, can provide what I need, otherwise, I would have definitely driven. It's that important, but I'm still managing to smoke less. As I mentioned before, I only purchased 1/2 an ounce last Wednesday, whereas I usually buy 3/4. I wanted to test how I'd do with just a half. Yesterday, I still had enough to last me through the night and a few joints for when I return from my trip until I visit the dispensary. It's a significant achievement for me to have that much left over after a week, having only bought half an ounce.

Day 24 - Oct 26

Just wanted to give everyone an update, I’m still only buying a half an ounce a week and not even using it all. I haven’t told my husband and kids just how much I have cut back. Because honestly, unless you have dealt with something like this you willl never know just how much of an accomplishment this is. After smoking hefty for 5 years I’m really cutting back majorly. What my husband also doesn’t know is that I am saving in the difference. I am now pulling out the amount I was spending at 3/4 an ounce but only buying 1/2 and putting the rest of the money aside, to use on our trip to Europe.