Everdying Dream

It's been a few months since I heard from you, But I still think of you every day. You have become a ghost inside my heart, And I am the only one to blame. It's been years since I've last seen you, But I remember your voice, your face, your name. You have become a skeleton in my closet, Though you still look exactly the same. It's been ages since I felt you, But I can always feel the pain. You have become a demon in the darkness, May the light help you find your way. It's been millennia since I had you, But I'll always recall the taste. We both shall live forever, My beloved eternal flame. You once spoke such lovely words, Of how you wanted me for all eternity. I loved you for your lies. You only wanted immortality. Now you can bask in your youth throughout the eons, Sucking the hopelessly romantic souls of the living. I wish that I could sleep forever, Since you've become my everdying dream. You could've shown mercy. You could've staked me through the heart. Instead you blessed my ears with that songful giggle. And threw me in a tomb of your art. The sketches on the walls are crumpled, The paintings have all been smashed to bits, The beautiful images I once watched you draw Are all covered in my shit. How could you let me defile such masterpieces? I remember when I first saw you, Radiant then and evermore. You were painting a picture of a forest. What I would give to live there, to explore The scenery you envisioned. A wonderland for worms, A cage for birds, A perfect prison. Oh, how you had trapped me from the start. I wanted, more than anything, for you to paint me. To feel your brushes caress my skin, To be colored by such incredible ink. Not because of their shades, But because of who selected them. I wanted you to recreate me in your perfect image. I watched you paint meadows and mountains, Palm trees and ponds, Glaciers and islands and deserts and jungles and a city under the stars. But you didn't paint a wedding chapel, A hospital where our progeny would be born, A home for us to grow old in. You never once conjured a happily ever after. I was always stuck in the dead of winter. Let the snow keep my body as cold as a corpse. But I cannot die. You left me with no holy water to drink, No god-awful garlic to eat. I have starved more nights than the world has rotated. But hunger fails to kill. I suffer a fate worse than death, For if I cannot have you, Then I face eternal damnation. Still I hope, I wish, I pray, To all gods who cast me away. I plead, I beg, I long, Am I atoning for my sins? Is this how I right my wrongs? Please just let the sun wrap its rays around me, Let me see my shadow one last time, Let me combust, a pile of ashes, Let me out, begone… Hello, my ghost, how are you on this divine day? To whichever deity watches over you, I pray. I still long for the day that you'll set me free and back into your arms. Shelter me from the insanity, heal me from the harm. Hello, my skeleton, how have you cared for yourself as of late? I wish that I could come out of the closet. But I understand that there is no place for me to call home. I suppose you found one better than any I had to give. Hello, my demon, are you happy? Are you smiling? I hope no tears run down your cheeks. I may never forgive you for what you have done, But I also worship you, the goddess that proved me weak. Hello, my love, do you ever think about me? Or is my existence non-existent? Now go on and paint the world in black and red, Create your heavenly Hell. Amen.