Dear Religious Folks,

So today, I ran into one of those religious folks who just can't stand non-religious people. It's such a shame. Shouldn't believers be showing us why following Christ is a good idea? Isn't part of that being kind and loving to everyone? Well, as a nonbeliever, I can tell you that treating me like that definitely won't make me want to believe. The fact that an atheist like me can be kind and loving to everyone without following Christ says a lot. I don't need religion to tell me how to be a good person; I just want to be good because it's the right thing to do.

My Religious History

I started going to church on my own because I was genuinely interested, not because anyone forced me. My family isn't super religious. Even though my mom attended a Catholic school growing up , they weren't really into going to church. My Nana, who's Italian, assumed we were all Catholic just because that's the main religion in Italy. We actually had a big argument about it once. She was sure I was Catholic just because of our Italian background, and no matter how much I tried to explain that's not how religion works, she just didn't get it, which I find really sad.

When I was a kid, I had to look for folks who could take me to church. We had a family friend who went to this big Baptist church that's been around here forever. I can still picture what it looked like inside. I remember the pastor, too. He was an old, kind guy, and I really enjoyed listening to him. It wasn't so much about the religious stuff, but more about his kindness and the awesome stories he shared. I stayed there for few years.

When I moved to Florida, I started going to a church with one of my softball friends and her family. It was a tiny church, but that's because I lived in a small town. I really enjoyed it, mostly because I loved hanging out with the kids my age. We went on all sorts of youth group trips. For three summers straight, we headed to Jekyll Island, GA for a big youth conference that lasted a week. I had a blast every time. The people at that church were genuinely good folks, and I could feel that.

I can still picture this day perfectly. I don’t remember which passage he picked, but I remember everything else about it. There were about 15-20 kids, if I remember right. Pastor Dan was his name, and he was such a kind and genuine guy. He asked us all to take the passage he gave us, find a spot by ourselves, and write down what it meant to us. He wanted us to be alone so we couldn’t share ideas with each other. When we started reading what we wrote, I noticed everyone had a different take on the passage. In my teenage mind, that just didn’t add up. Shouldn’t the passage mean the same thing to everyone? We go to church, and the leaders explain passages and tell us what they mean. So, shouldn’t there be specific meanings for each one? Apparently not. I was totally shocked. I talked to him about it, and he said it’s a personal thing. Each passage hits people differently based on where they are in their lives. Okay, cool, but why not mention that during church sermons?

When I left Florida and moved back to my hometown, I started going to a new church. I first joined when I was 18 and stayed until I turned 21. It was a small church where everyone knew each other. The pastor, his wife, and most of the church leaders were from Australia, and I loved listening to their accents. Our youth leaders and us “kids” were always doing all sorts of activities together, so I really got to know everyone. I was super involved with the teen/college group and the church overall. I loved bringing supplies to places in need. Doing things like that really made my heart happy.

The messages at that church used to really bug me. Every time someone got up to speak, it seemed like all they talked about was getting more people to join and raising money. They were trying to build a new place and basically wanted to become a mega church, which they eventually did.

Right before I headed off to boot camp, I had a chat with the youth pastor and his wife. You might know him—he's that famous pastor, Carl Lentz. I was pretty blunt and told them I thought their sermons were nonsense and that all they seemed to care about was money and packing the place with people. It's kind of ironic what happened to him—it just proves he was more into the money and fame than actually caring about people. I'm not here to bash him; he made his choices and now he's dealing with them. Just pointing out some facts.

When I got back from boot camp/tech school after three months, the church I returned to was totally different. It wasn't the small, cozy place I remembered. It had turned into the mega church it still is today. Walking in was mind-blowing. They had a bookshop and a coffee shop right in the lobby. There was even a daycare and their own college. How do you go from a small, personal church to that in just three months?! I walked around and couldn't find anyone I knew anymore. It broke my heart. I never went back to that church again.

I haven't really gone to church much as an adult, but I did check out one just a mile down the road for a few years. I even joined some Bible study groups during that time. Met some awesome people, and I still keep in touch with one of them.

Still Don’t Get the Hype

I've been around religion for quite a while, so it's not like I'm new to it. Still, I decide not to believe in any of it. It's not because I'm a bad person, but because of what I've learned and the experiences I've had over the years.

Being an atheist doesn't make me a bad person. If your God encourages kindness and loving everyone, that should include atheists too. You'll never see me, as an atheist, being hateful towards anyone.